i’ve done it i’ve done it, oh look what i’ve done

This is a momentous day, which shall go down in history. Here is why.

Nice but not really “Big” Thing) Lunchdate with MJSB (which stands for Mean Jewish Svenbob. He made it up himself.)

Smallish Big Thing) I bought a plane ticket to Minnesota. There I will get to see Ernie and Jenn and Jim and Libby and hopefully Alex. I will wear my periwinkle with pride, and I will look SO GOOD.

Midsize Big Thing) Morningboss is back. She apparently wasn’t happy with how much I’d gotten done while she was gone. This was really upsetting to me, since I worked my fucking ass off and was a miserable wreck. However, at least she can do her own work now. So that’s good.

Great Big Thing) I emailed Morningboss my resignation, and CC’d pretty much everyone in the administrative hallway. Afternoonboss says I wrote a good letter. I’ll let you read it if you want. I talk about the things she’s said to me that were totally inappropriate, and I explain to her how she made me feel like shit about myself - but I do it in a very diplomatic manner. I talk about why we are poorly suited to work together, and I politely give notice.

foiled again

Singing voicemail I almost left just now, until his mother unexpectedly answered the phone:

{c’mon, everybody. Sing along!}

the higher the peaks, the more the valleys suck my ass

I got my tax return today. It’s big. I was excited about it. I also got paid today. Another good thing. I was plotting all the great things I was going to do with my new wealth, like

1) Fix the fuel injectors on my car
2) Pay rent
3) Buy a plane ticket to Minnesota, so I can be a bridesmaid
4) Spay my dog

All important things to do, it seems to me. Right. So, we have a huge staff meeting today to discuss the even huger finance committee meeting that happened yesterday. We all knew that some shit was about to hit the fan, and lo and behold …

We are all being laid off for two weeks without pay. Every full-time, non-seasonal, non-union person who works for Ye Olde Children’s Theatre. We’ve got a couple of months to figure out how we’re going to manage it, but holy fuck. I don’t have time to idly look for new work anymore. The pressure is really on - because I don’t know about you, but I can’t afford to just NOT get paid for two weeks. There is no way.

Our top-boss-man ended the meeting in tears. He is a good guy, and he has been taking a lot of heat for decisions that were by NO stretch of the imagination his alone. People are shooting the messenger, and I really feel for him. I might not always agree with his decisions or his philosophy, but I like him. Nobody is happy about this, but we don’t want to end up where ACT did, so we have to be (god, I fucking hate this word) proactive. I understand where these actions are coming from - but that doesn’t mean I have to like them. The mass exodus I was expecting is going to be even bigger than I’d imagined.

I am a rat. My ship is sinking.

political query

Is this for real? Anybody heard anything about it? Mary Jane sent it to me this morning.

And, because it’s Friday and I’m feeling incapable of anything pithy, here’s some Friday Five.

1. What was your most memorable moment from the last week?

HAH! That would be last night. I’m in the living room with PWe. She says “Wow, your nipples are huge. You look like you’re pregnant.” and I do a TOTAL double-take until I realize that she’s talking to my DOG. When I told her I thought she was talking to me, we laughed so hard we nearly fell off the couch. (It was still funny this morning.)

A close second would be the interview I had yesterday - ten minutes in, the woman I’m interviewing with says “You know, I can tell right now that you’d be wonderful with these kids and get along great with our staff. I don’t need to ask you any of these questions. Can we just skip this part?” Hell yeah, we can skip this part.

2. What one person touched your life this week?

Amandalee, who came into my office the other day and said “Oh, honey, you look stressed out. Let’s go out for drinks tonight. Okay?” and we did! And it was great. She is also going to help me move furniture from Stinky P’s place to mine, once I buy it. (She has a much bigger auto than I do, so we could actually FIT armchairs and tables and whatnot in there.)

3. How have you helped someone this week?

Um. I haven’t, really. I’ve been so in my own little world this week that I haven’t done much reaching out. I forwarded a classified ad to my Shmoopy, since I know he’s starting to look for a new job, but I don’t know how helpful that was.

4. What one thing do you need to get done by this time next week?

I need to have a job. I need to give my dog a bath. I need to clean my room. I need to send in my traffic ticket so I can argue with someone about it. I need to pay rent. I need to do laundry. I need to design a half-hour long frog curriculum for 3-4 year olds. I need to prepare two Shakespeare monologues. I need to find my headshots. I need to clean the bathroom. I need to finalize my tattoo design and actually get it done. I need to buy a plane ticket to Minnesota. I need to revisit Jizz and see what of her life I can remember.

5. What one thing will you do over the next seven days to make your world a better place?

It will be cleaner, I hope. Maybe better organized. Hopefully happier and less frazzled. Probably more drunk.

What about you?

when you get through the skin, through the muscle, slosh aside the organs, and get down to bone, you haven’t got all the way yet. There’s someting inside the bone - the marrow - and that’s what you gotta get at.

Just discovered this site today. And yes, before you go there, I’m in it. I met Vanessa at Union Garage, long ago when I was doing I (heart) Kant and she was performing with Pine Nuts. She asked me to do an interview, and I said yes - so sometime circa April of last year, I sent her a huge email answering a whole slew of questions. Her amalgamation of my words is posted on the site.

In more “What a small web-world” news, one of the other interviewees is the author of Eat, Drink and Be Married, which I hear is a site frequented by our nameless friend with the Titanium Smile.

As for my particular piece of the puzzle, if you’re just going to make a snide remark you don’t need to bother. I kind of can’t believe I’m posting the link here, but there it is. Come sniff my dirty laundry - because I think Vanessa’s work is important and I want to get the word out there. Tell your friends.

a jambalaya, if you will

Not sure how I feel about this.

Got offered a job yesterday. Thought it would be the big winner. Found out that the payrate is worse than crap. Can’t take job. Haven’t told them yet.

Am so burned out right now. Can barely work. Am sitting at desk, staring into space. Keep falling into stupor. Might lose THIS job if this continues. Can’t force motivation. Can barely force continued breathing.

Going on date with Amandalee tonight. Hoping this will rectify current lack of interest in existence. News at 11.

the long and winding road

I’ve found my Lori again … or rather, she seems to have found me. She was one of my two roommates freshman year of college. She was the one who taught me about wicca. She was the one who took me home and made me watch Brain Candy. She was a really smart girl who loved math, and art, and sometimes rats. She would act like a little kid when she was sleepy. She was the one who comforted me when Kris went back to California (not this year - in ‘97) and I thought I’d lost him. She taught me some html. She and Marie and I were tossed together seemingly at random, and she was one of the closest female friends I’ve ever had. After freshman year we all kind of scattered to the wind, and the pigsty dungeon where we had hidden from the world that year disappeared. I still think about her all the time - like when I hear certain songs, like

It smells of cheap wine and cigarettes, this place is always such a mess, sometimes I think I’d like to watch it burn

or

Mary’s little lambs are now raised by wolves

or

For the life of me, I can not remember what made us think that we were wise and we’d never compromise

or

you were meant for me, and I was meant for you
{“I was meant for ‘Hugh’? Who the hell is Hugh?”}

or anytime I see With Honors on TV or in the movie store, or anytime I’m browsing in a bookstore and find a book from Llewellyn. I will be thinking of her in May when I walk down the aisle in my periwinkle dress and pumps for Jenn Boocks’ wedding. I will think of her every time I hear any music from South Pacific. There are little pieces of her everywhere in my brain, and I miss her.

Unfortunately for me, she is in SWEDEN. This, of course, is only unfortunate because it’s far away and I am broke. (I want to show you the picture page she sent me, but I need to ask permission first.) Here’s to you, Lori. Your timing is perfect.

i am driving eighty-five and

I think I have spent enough time at work today.
I am going home now.

nugget

Submitted to our office newsletter:

“Stop thinking this is all there is. Realize that for every on-going war and religious outrage and environmental devastation and bogus Iraqi attack plan, there are a thousand counter-balancing acts of staggering generosity and humanity and art and beauty happening all over the world, right now, on a breathtaking scale, from flower box to cathedral. Resist the temptation to drown in fatalism, to shake your head and sigh and just throw in the karmic towel. Realize that this is the perfect moment to change the energy of the world, to step right up and crank your personal volume; right when it all seems dark and bitter and offensive and acrimonious and conflicted and bilious … there’s your opening. Remember magic. And, finally, believe you are part of a groundswell, a resistance, a seemingly small but actually very, very large impending karmic overhaul, a great shift, the beginning of something important and potent and unstoppable.”
—Mark Morford, San Francisco Gate

salam pax, aka

Have you seen this blog yet? I don’t know if I think it’s for real, but it’s definitely more interesting than most of the news out there.

i felt like one of the muppets

Well, Daniel, I’ve finally done it. I am watching Notorious C.H.O. as we speak. We fell asleep during it last night and are watching the bit that we missed. (It was about three in the morning and we finally couldn’t keep the eyes open anymore.) I’m going to be laughing about this shit for weeks. Speaking of which, she’s going to be at Benaroya on May 17. Wanna go?

Oh, right. So Francis and Mina are here. I’ve never met Mina before, and she’s great. I used to suspect that she was imaginary, because I’d never met her, but no! She actually exists!

Tonight is the Oscar Party chez Broote. I’m very excited. How often do you get to dress up in your pretties and drink with your friends? Not often enough.

Lou, Lou, skip tomylou
{Pizzeria, here I go again}

Went to the PNB last night with Sjet, Daniel, and Molly. I wasn’t sure whether they liked dance or not, but it’s something I love, so I wanted them to come along. Sjet thought the lights weren’t bright enough, and Daniel fell asleep during one piece. (Also, at one point I heard some giggling … I can’t be sure, but I think this might be why. Here is a brief explanation of that phenomenon.) However, for the most part everyone seemed to enjoy it, which made me happy. Dance is the one thing that I can really just let myself be swept away by - I don’t sit and micromanage it the way I do theatre. I don’t overanalyze and criticize and think about how I would have done it. I just sit back, take a deep breath, and forget about my life for a little while.

For some reason, I was in a terrible mood at the beginning of the night. It had been a really long week, I was exhausted, I was cranky, and I had had just about enough war. Everywhere I looked, there were slideshows of Baghdad blowing up, or pictures of dead soldiers, or heart-wrenching stories about homeless refugees, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I get to a certain point, and my brain just shuts off. On the way from Daniel’s place to the Mercer Arts Arena, the conversation in the car turned to protests. The inside of my brain started screaming “Shut up, Shut up, Shut up!” but of course that’s not something that would ever reach my mouth. I had no right to tell my friends, whom I adore, what they can and cannot talk about - but my mind just switched into sleep mode and I probably didn’t say anything for about fifteen minutes. There just wasn’t anything there.

Then, the ballet. Ah, the ballet. I won’t talk about it, but here’s what Joe Boling had to say. It was just exactly what my brain needed… escape.

Afterwards, we tried to go to McMenamin’s. We tried to go to some other place whose name I forget. They were both full, so we briefly contemplated drinking beer in my car in the parking lot, but I wasn’t such a fan of that idea. Finally, we ended up at T.S. McHugh’s, sipping and shooting everything from beer to Jager to scotch. Discussing smoking methods. Discovering the glory of the C.T. and demonstrating certain practices for each other. Chasing boys for phone numbers. Receiving some world-class back-rub love. Getting our punch on. We befriended a guy named Marshall, who knows someone I know. We were so pretty.

On our way back to the car, we skipped and sang songs and jumped in puddles. When I got home I was drenched and my bones were jello, and it was glorious.

{Confidential to the Fat Boy Posse - I will see you soon. Hoods up!}

oodle-molly oodle-molly golly
whata
day

{Or How I learned to stop worrying and love my WERKSCHMERZ}

A brief haiku:

Along with Idalicious, Big Z came to visit for awhile today. I have not had a day so

A) of all - Productive

and

B) of all - Enjoyable

in I don’t know how long. As someone I love once said to me, “Thank God for theatre. And sweet friends.”

TONIGHT! I am going to the Pacific Northwest Ballet to see some fine dance. Sjet is coming along. So is Daniel. Matthew said dance makes his brain hurt, so he is not coming. I hope Molly is coming. That would be sweet.

wwf, and i don’t mean wildlife

I just broke down and bought this. I am so proud of myself right now.

(Don’t remember who she is?)

diatribe, interrupted

Went out to the loading dock and cried today. I am a piece of bloody meat that has been dropped into a tankful of emaciated piranhas. I am a menstruating teenage surfer in shark-infested waters. I am that hapless goblin in Lord of the Rings who gets torn to pieces and devoured by his fellow soldiers. And, as I am lying here with my internal organs wrapped around my neck, I’m berated for not being more productive. I am snapped at by the fussy queen receptionist. I am guilt-tripped by the marketing director. And just waiting - hiding behind the blinking MSG light - are over a hundred voicemails and emails from teachers who are frantic about something. They are panicking about this ticket or that ticket and they are withdrawing their reservation because it took me three days to get back to them. Maybe they’re cancelling it altogether because they are afraid of war and don’t want to send their children to the shadow of the soon-to-be-destroyed-by-nuclear-warfare space needle. Every couple of minutes, a flash of bright light comes from the Nameless Center for Science next door, and each time I am certain something is blowing up. I am right on the fucking brink and if one more person says one more negative or condescending thing to me I will either burst into tears or I will wring their self-righteous stuffed-shirt mouth-breathing cake-sniffing dunkin-donut-eating jizz-mopping ugly-haircut-wearing fashion-victim slobber-pocket asshat necks. If I wasn’t already on my way out of this pathetic excuse for a job, I would quit after this anyway. I don’t deserve to be treated like this. I don’t get paid enough to put up with this bullshit.

A couple of weeks ago, I had a great dream. See, Ida and I have these really cute matching skirts. We also have these sort of matching fat-boy hooded sweatshirts, and these sort of matching shoes. I had a dream that we dressed up in our matching clothes and got our picture taken together at some cheesy mall portrait studio. Apparently, Sjet recently acquired a fat-boy hooded sweatshirt. Molly may have one as well. Portrait studio, here we come. I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly.

the more you know (bum bum bum BAAAAAAHM)

Afternoonboss phrase of the day:

“The slough of despond.”

(I know how she feels.)

and I’m on my way - i don’t know where i’m going

Last Saturday, I taught my first dramaschool class all by myself. I’ve been apprenticing with the same Acting for 4-6th Grade class since last fall, and it was finally my turn to design a curriculum and teach a class myself. I’d been wigging about it for a long time, and it went great! After all these months, I know these kids pretty well - and I felt like I was able to bounce around and adapt my curriculum depending on what they were giving me at the moment. At the end, the one little girl I’ve always had a bit of a problem with raised her hand and said “Can you teach class more often?”

Later that afternoon, I went to observe another birthday party, before doing TWO of my own on Sunday. The little kids were so hyper and one of them had obviously just learned all of his potty words. At one point he said (and I quote) “Diarrhea! Diarrhea! It smells like toes but it’s really farts! Shake your booty all night long! Wenises! Wenises!” My friend Leo (who was doing this party) kept shooting me these pained looks, and I was in convulsions trying not to let the kids know how funny I thought they were. Shouts of “Mr. Scientist, can you shrink your weenie into a tiny little weenie?” were totally ignored, but when this little boy pulled down his pants, began spanking himself with a big foam finger, and screamed “Shrink my butt into a tiny little butt!” that was the last straw. The parents were called in to intervene. Before we left, both parents came up to me and said “Well, I assume you’re going to switch professions after today?”

After the party from hell, I finally went and saw Adaptation with Matthew, Sonya, and Daniel. It was … everything I’d hoped. I understood where it was coming from, but didn’t love all of it. There are a lot of really meta comments I want to make about it right now, but just in case any of you haven’t seen it, I’m not going to be a spoiler. I made a lot of connections with it that - while probably trite and self-aggrandizing - really got me thinking. It’s not often that a movie can do that for me.

Afterwards, we went to Broadway Grill and got hammered on Limonadas. (They were on sale.) After awhile, we were joined by the big Z, and we had a damn fine time being loud and annoying. About halfway through the evening, I realized that I felt more comfortable and natural and myself with this group of people on this evening than I could remember feeling in a long time. Later, when Sjet said we needed to do this again, I was right with her.

{Confidential to my parking lot pal: It wasn’t just the jacket.}

Sunday was the big day - not only my first birthday party, but TWO of them in a row, and they were in SAMMAMISH. I was so nervous - I practiced everything for PWe in our living room before I left. Of course, I got completely lost both times, but made it just in the nick of time each time. The kids were perfectly behaved, the parents were nice, everything went better than I could have expected, and I got a couple of pretty huge tips. (Of course, the parents probably wouldn’t have tipped so well if they knew that I was just going to spend their money on a tattoo.) The first birthday boy’s grandmother came up to me and said “Are you a teacher?” When I told her I wasn’t - yet - she said “Let me tell you, the educators in this room have been talking, and we think you’ve got an incredible amount of natural talent with these kids. I think you’ve found your calling, sweetie.” By the time I was done with the second party, I CRASHED. I’d been so high on nerves and adrenaline all day, and once it was all over I sat in my car for about twenty minutes before I could even start driving home. It was the best possible way to start, and I was pretty thrilled. Every little step that takes me farther away from my current day job is a welcome step, and I’m trying to appreciate each step as it happens. On Sunday, I felt like I’d taken a giant leap.

This morning, I’m back in hell. Morningboss is still in Italy. I’m still several days behind - but I had to get this weekend down before I lost it. Back to the grind, I suppose …

Any words of encouragement?

the end is in sight

Well, I’ve done it. I am officially no longer going to be working here as of the beginning of June. Okay, I’ll still be working here. Let me rephrase. I will no longer be occupying the same position(s) I am currently occupying as of the beginning of June. I just got hired this morning to assist for the day camps at Ye Olde Children’s Theatre. Woo hoo! Nearly full-time, all summer long, fun stuff with kids and theatre and science. Just my cup of tea. The teacher I will be assisting is one of my favorite people, but as s(he) hasn’t officially been offered the position yet, I cannot divulge his/her identity. Let me just say that it will probably be riotous. (Sssssh, Ida.)

So, pressure is off until August. THEN what the hell am I going to do?

well, golly

Look at us go.

Morningboss is in Italy for three weeks. I thought this was going to be a good thing - have the office to myself for awhile, not always have someone looking over my shoulder, etc. This is not the case. What it means is that I have to do her full-time job plus my part time job in the part-time job slot. And yes, I am still doing my other part-time job during the rest of the day. In fact, it’s the “busy season” for the other half of my job, which means that in a few days I will be facing a similar dilemma over on that side as well. I am not allowed any overtime. I am told that I will have one of the board members come in to help me out. She doesn’t have a day job, so she is volunteering. I am expected to be happy about this situation, when in reality I just want to scream. No, my job is not just hack work. No, my job is not all completely menial and trivial. No, you have no idea what I actually DO in here, and if you expect me to just hand it over to someone you are sorely mistaken. “Here, I know you know nothing about what happens in here, but I’m going to have you do my boss’s job for awhile. Normally, this isn’t stuff I’m even allowed to touch - have at it!” I am so disillusioned right now. Many of the people I like here are about to quit. I am starting to feel like a rat on a sinking ship.

you choose, you learn

Again with the civic duty. I’m a voting machine.

One of the schools that came to TWO shows yesterday (and breathed and coughed all over us) CANCELLED school today due to an uncontrollable flu epidemic. This does not make me feel particularly safe or secure about my health.

I don’t want to be here. I am finding it nearly impossible to give a shit today. Any suggestions?

open mouth, insert

I just said “My box thanks you” to my boss. I didn’t realize what I was saying, of course, until it was too late. She snickered and said “You know, in my day, that was slang for - ” and I said “Yeah, it still is. Ahem. Sorry about that.” It’s ten minutes later, and she is still peering at me over her monitor and giggling.

I got to talk to Mitcher for awhile last night - it’s amazing how a few minutes on the phone with him can put things in perspective. He’s engaged now. Often, we will both reach a breaking point where we really need to talk to each other at about the same time - and this was one of those times. He also kicked my ass a little about approaching someone I’ve been afraid to. (News at 11.)

Got an email yesterday from a guy who was my best friend for four years. I haven’t seen him in six months, and I wasn’t really expecting a response. It was nice to get something back. It was also pretty damn confusing. Ah, ambivalence. Don’t you just love it when you think you know how you’re going to react to something, and then you’re completely wrong? Right. That’s how that went. He’s in Chicago right now, maybe visiting Sarah as we speak. I figure it’s time to make amends and try to start over. He’s not actually coming back in August, but has renewed his contract until about a year from now. Who knows where we’ll be in a year … life was sure different a year ago. (I hear Nate is thinking of moving to New York. Then he could join the Patrickt Club for Hosers Who Move Away From the People Who Love Them.)

Okay, time to move my car.

finally see what it means to be living

In other news, I have a new super-secret crush on a person I’ve known for a long time. Come to think of it, I’ve kind of had a crush on him all along, and have just realized it. It’s kind of fun crushing on more than one person at a time. (A girl’s got to have options.)

Tried to reconnect today with someone I’ve lost. I’m ready to be friends again. Of course, given how unfuckingbelievably bad our timing has been in the past, I don’t know why I think he’ll be receptive to it. Hope springs eternal, I suppose.

Holy shit, what a crazy busy weekend. Three performances, multiple phone problems, carting around a million props and costumes, sitting through more hours of theatre than I can even count or remember. Writing notes back and forth in the back of the theatre on our programs. Introducing friend from circle A to friend from circle B to friend from circle C. Sneaking in late. Sneaking out early. Making faces and clawing arms and crying at inopportune moments. Some really unexpectedly great stuff, and some that just wasn’t meant to be. And in the middle of it all, a few shining performances from people I love, which really made it all worthwhile. (Love to Imo and Kevin and Josh and Ida and Edly and Tim and Stacey and ChrisJ and MPMid and Daniel and NickO’D and Dietz and JPratt and the Baron for entertaining and inspiring me this weekend. You’re so pretty.)

How was your weekend?

maybe i’ll wake up for once

So, it’s Lent. I gave up buying my breakfast and lunch at work. I spend a lot of money on shitty food from the center house, and I could be spending it on other things. Smack, for instance. What did you give up?

Our FringeAct show opened last night. I thought it was a big success - here’s what Joe Boling had to say about it. Meklar even surprised me by showing up! (What did you think?)

For the last couple of weeks, I’ve been going back to Friday Five but haven’t been interested in any of the questions. Today, it’s apparently the cool thing to do, so I am jumping on the bandwagon. (I know, I’m a sheep. You should be a sheep too, and answer them for my amusement. Please.)

1. What was the last song you heard?
Morningboss plays Warm 106.9, Afternoon boss plays Smooth Jazz. I block them from my mind whenever possible. I try to pretend that there is no music going on. I try to imagine my ears being crammed full of wriggling maggots so that I can not hear the insipid pablum which is pouring from the radio. It never seems to work. In actuality, the last song I heard was That’s what friends are for. However, the last song I listened to that didn’t make me itch was Going Under by Evanescence at home this morning. Or maybe Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong on the radio in my car.

2. What were the last two movies you saw?
Most recently, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, which I saw with Yuki. Before that … hm. OH. The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T on video at home with PWe and HSM. (We watched Sliding Doors right afterwards, but I’ve seen that over and over, so it doesn’t really count.)

3. What were the last three things you purchased?
$8 sparkly sneakers, Ida’s KAK shirt for FringeAct, Fat Boy Hooded Sweatshirt with dragons on it.

4. What four things do you need to do this weekend?
ONE: Get a huge batch of bills ready to pay as soon as the money magically appears in my account next friday. This includes a parking ticket, a request to remove a driving ticket from my record, my student loan, my cell phone bill, a new licence for her royal dogness, and utilities money for PWe. Also, the last check to Tony, which somehow I thought I’d paid and haven’t.
TWO: Do a million loads of laundry. Clean my room. Get my new desk set up and start USING it. I know this is multi-part, but it all goes together.
THREE: Give my dog a bath. She stinks. (I just typed “She thinks.” This is also true.)
FOUR: Write up a curriculum for a one and a half hour beginning acting class for 4-6th graders. I’m presenting this curriculum to the other dramaschool apprentices on Tuesday, and I am teaching it a week from tomorrow. (No pressure.)

5. Who are the last five people you talked to?
Morningboss, LoudHouseManagerGuy, Amandalee, OtherUsherGirl, and CrankyReceptionistGuy.

open my eyes to everything

I researched. I waited. I had a note on my calendar. On the day that their first album came out, I went to Der Uber-Meyer and I got the last copy. It was even on sale. And holy crap, is it great. (Check out their website.) I should actually give a shit about music more often.

Aud-ter-viewed for the SAT test prep folks last night. There are many things in life that are more fun than having five minutes to teach several completely non-creative middle-aged people the basics of acting. (I’m sure you can think of a few yourself.) Wasn’t terrible, but wasn’t great. {Editor’s note: Immediately after posting this, I got a phone call from the woman I aud-ter-viewed for last night. They loved me! They really loved me! I’m going to start training in May, and will probably begin teaching this summer. Woo hoo!}Afterwards, Sjet and I went to the Greek IHOP and ate so much food that today I have what looks like gyros and baklava dripping out of my ears.

Thanks to a recommendation from Ida and Molly, I have discovered that I am also a fat little boy. I am in good company.

what time is it? it’s prime time

So, Ida had a brilliant idea last night for a new television series. We’re going to call it “Married by Freesia!” (or maybe “Married by Freesia’sRealName”). It’ll be just like Married by America but I will get to pick everyone’s spouse myself. While we watched it last night, all snuggled up under a quilt with my toes poking her in the butt, I was way too excited about it. After the show was over, I called the toll-free numbers and did my civic duty.

I could do this for a living. It would be great.

remembering to breathe

Can anybody explain this to me? I got it from Kim and can’t seem to figure it out.

I’ve had a crazy, crazy busy few weeks. I haven’t been doing anything but thinking about FringeAct and Mad Science and drama school and being sick and curriculum-planning and apprentice meetings and job-hunting and auditioning and schedule-wrangling and trying to drag myself from the red into the black. I haven’t been returning phone calls or sleeping properly or doing my laundry or cleaning my bathroom or grocery shopping. Occasionally, I’ve even been forgetting to breathe. I’ve been going out as much as possible to keep myself distracted from how much still needs to be done - but that doesn’t always make me less stressed out. I think this little bird might be able to vouch for the emotional state of a stage manager whose show is about to open. (I know it’s only a 15-minute piece, but I’m also costume and props master.)

Pool last night was the best pool ever. le Pratt and PWe and JHarm and I were feeling super-loopy. I felt like the ladies integrated our visiting gentleman into the lasciviousness that is pool night very well. Ahem. Fun was had by all.

On an unrelated note, here’s some stuff I hate. I hate it when people talk to me as if I’m not even there. They’re venting or scheming or pondering or something, and they’re so used to just telling me this sort of thing that they never even notice. They don’t realize that what they’re saying might hurt my feelings. They don’t realize that what they’re thinking about might apply to me. They just keep talking, not noticing that I’m pretending not to be hurt. Not noticing that maybe I’m not listening quite as enthusiastically as usual. So used to me being the objective, omnipresent ear that it never occurs to them that I might have some feelings on the issue. Or, frankly, that I might have feelings at all. This is something I hate.

On the other hand, I love Yuki. We went and saw this amazing movie this weekend. Smoochy boochies, Yuki, ya wacky bastard.