maybe i’ll wake up for once
So, it’s Lent. I gave up buying my breakfast and lunch at work. I spend a lot of money on shitty food from the center house, and I could be spending it on other things. Smack, for instance. What did you give up?
Our FringeAct show opened last night. I thought it was a big success - here’s what Joe Boling had to say about it. Meklar even surprised me by showing up! (What did you think?)
For the last couple of weeks, I’ve been going back to Friday Five but haven’t been interested in any of the questions. Today, it’s apparently the cool thing to do, so I am jumping on the bandwagon. (I know, I’m a sheep. You should be a sheep too, and answer them for my amusement. Please.)
1. What was the last song you heard?
Morningboss plays Warm 106.9, Afternoon boss plays Smooth Jazz. I block them from my mind whenever possible. I try to pretend that there is no music going on. I try to imagine my ears being crammed full of wriggling maggots so that I can not hear the insipid pablum which is pouring from the radio. It never seems to work. In actuality, the last song I heard was That’s what friends are for. However, the last song I listened to that didn’t make me itch was Going Under by Evanescence at home this morning. Or maybe Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong on the radio in my car.
2. What were the last two movies you saw?
Most recently, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, which I saw with Yuki. Before that … hm. OH. The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T on video at home with PWe and HSM. (We watched Sliding Doors right afterwards, but I’ve seen that over and over, so it doesn’t really count.)
3. What were the last three things you purchased?
$8 sparkly sneakers, Ida’s KAK shirt for FringeAct, Fat Boy Hooded Sweatshirt with dragons on it.
4. What four things do you need to do this weekend?
ONE: Get a huge batch of bills ready to pay as soon as the money magically appears in my account next friday. This includes a parking ticket, a request to remove a driving ticket from my record, my student loan, my cell phone bill, a new licence for her royal dogness, and utilities money for PWe. Also, the last check to Tony, which somehow I thought I’d paid and haven’t.
TWO: Do a million loads of laundry. Clean my room. Get my new desk set up and start USING it. I know this is multi-part, but it all goes together.
THREE: Give my dog a bath. She stinks. (I just typed “She thinks.” This is also true.)
FOUR: Write up a curriculum for a one and a half hour beginning acting class for 4-6th graders. I’m presenting this curriculum to the other dramaschool apprentices on Tuesday, and I am teaching it a week from tomorrow. (No pressure.)
5. Who are the last five people you talked to?
Morningboss, LoudHouseManagerGuy, Amandalee, OtherUsherGirl, and CrankyReceptionistGuy.
At first I thought depravation was a typo and should’ve been deprivation, like you won’t be deprived. But then I realized the first one would work, like you won’t be depraved. I think I like that better.
Weeeeellll, actually I probably should have used “deprivation”, since the “joke” was that I was giving up giving things up, but —
Oh, dang I just explained the joke! Now, it’s not a joke anymore…
I know it sounds like I’m being a smartass, but I gave up Lent a long time ago.
I didn’t actually give it up for Lent, though, now that I think about it, so never mind, that doesn’t really answer you, does it?
I’ve made it three whole days without purchasing or eating cake of any kind. And since I’ve been so freaking obsessed with cake lately that I was starting to worry I was compensating for some horrible subconscious fuckedupitude in my life, I’m going to call my three cake-free days the beginning of my personal Lenten season.
I am, however, going to go home and listen to Cake’s “Fashion Nugget.”
You’re so meta.
my favorite priest of all time
father tom hastings
(who is no longer with us on account of his raging alcohol consumption…)
told me that the biggest mistake catholics made was making everything about loss, that lent was a chance to make ourselves better people through addition as well
since then
i start doing something positive every lent
this lent
i’m going to start exercising 2x a week and drinking 1 more liter of water a day
Your last payment can be exchanged for a raincheck for dinner if I ever find myself in Seattle. Or money’s fine.
Comte-
But now it’s a new joke! It’s a joke about screwing up the joke. And about the joke “mistake” actually being another joke itself. So, it’s even better. Anyone can make a simple joke. To make three jokes in one is really difficult.
#1 - ironic joke playing on meaning of Lent
#2 - word joke playing on homophone
#3 - self-effacing joke playing on mistake
Genius!
I gave up self-depravation for Lent…