just one thing makes me
just one thing makes me forget
Is it just me, or has everyone been a stressed, depressed mess the past week or so? It seems like we take too much on, and then we fall hard when we finally break. We do too much and we feel too much and maybe we party too much and we definitely worry too much.
At least, I do.
just by mistake, accidentally do
just by mistake, accidentally do you say my name
Losing people is hard.
Almost having the chance to maybe un-lose them
and then losing that chance
is hard…
Even when you have found new people.
Still hard.
For the past week or so, I’ve been reminiscing a LOT - about old friends, old boyfriends, old sort-of-acquaintances. All of these people who touched my life in some way… some of whom wouldn’t be able to pick me out from a line-up, now. So many of them were in one place last weekend, and I was here. Like Joey, who was my best friend in the WORLD for most of my junior year, until I finally realized he liked me liked me, and things got ugly. Like Sindhu, my senior year support network, who used to have mint tea and PB&J with me at three in the morning in our wing lounge when life was crappy. I miss the people who have seen me at my shittiest AND best. Especially now, when I have JUST BEEN REJECTED FROM ANOTHER JOB. Yes, yet another job where I made it into the top tier, and then didn’t get it. This time, there were three top “contestants”, and we were all told that when the owners of the company got back from their next business trip, we would have our final answer. This meant TWENTY-FOUR DAYS between interview and rejection. And, of course, this was another job I really wanted. Dammit.
it’s bittersweet, more sweet
it’s bittersweet, more sweet than bitter, bitter than sweet
I finally have net access at work! Hooray!
On the downside, it is blindingly, mind-numbingly slow. It took me THREE MINUTES to LOAD YAHOO.
But, it’s better than nothing.
My 5-year high school reunion was this past weekend. I was so desperate to go… I started talking about it in January, making plans and getting so excited about it. I know most high schools don’t have a five year, but… my high school was a little different. I went to the Illinois Mathematics and Science Academy, the nation’s only three-year residential high school for students gifted in mathematics and science. (I was a tour guide there for two years, I used to know the whole spiel - mission statement and all.) I hated college - but high school was seriously the best time of my life. Basically, all the geeky smart kids who never had any friends were suddenly stuck together en masse, and we all said “hey, everyone here is like us! That’s pretty cool!” I went from being a geeky little shy kid to this HUGE social butterfly in the span of a month. I went everywhere, did everything, kicked more ass than I have before or since. It may seem odd to say that I was the most “myself” during high school - but when you leave home for what is basically like REALLY INTENSE college at the age of 12/13/14… we all grew up pretty fast. I really wanted to see everyone - out of a class of just under 200, almost 80 people were supposed to be going, and then at the last minute we realized that we just couldn’t afford to go. It totally broke my heart, on top of which I was just pissed off, because Bill got to go to his NTI (National Theatre Institute) reunion in April (he was there fall ‘99) and I didn’t get to go to my five-year. I’ve been feeling REALLY REALLY bitter about the whole thing. So, anyway. My friend Josh posted some pictures from the weekend, and I stole them, so here they are.
“It’s kind of like taking
“It’s kind of like taking off a bra. If they realize it’s happening, you’re doing it wrong.”
-Stephen McCandless, on giving a hickey
slap it up on the
slap it up on the web, and let the revenge begin
At my temp job, I sit on an 800 Morerand, “Pearl”esque, $800 alien chair.
I shit you not.
It is the same exact chair.
It really freaks me out.
ROXANNE. You don’t have
ROXANNE. You don’t have to WEAR that DRESS TONIGHT
Movies are always more fun when you’re with a large group of people who are ALSO crying. Take, for example, Sunday - when we went to see Moulin Rouge. With just me and Bill in the theatre, it was two hours of me feeling like a weenie because I was crying and Bill wasn’t. Suddenly, surrounded with a group of sobbing girls (and Ron), I didn’t feel nearly so silly about my veklemptness. Go figure.
After the movie, we ate Jaye’s awesome minute-pesto (not exactly, but the way she whips fine cuisine from nowhere at the speed of light flabbergasts me) and then went to Heather’s to serenade her.
HEATHER
you don’t have to pay for pool tonight
save your cash for drinking
you don’t care if it’s wrong or if it is right
HEATHER
they supply the balls and cues tonight
HEATHER
remember to hit the balls in OR-DER
(lyrics courtesy Stephen McCandless)
Then we played pool, for a long long time. Until I was very sleepy and dehydrated, and Ron had thoroughly kicked EVERYONE’s ass. Of course, Bill and Jennifer Pratt were discussing chaos theory and other complicated math-type things all night. I’m so happy for him that he’s finally found someone to geek out with. He tries it with me and it’s just very hard for me to care much about crap I don’t understand.
On a job note, I’m still waiting to hear about the job at RGI, and I also just applied for a job at Cornish. That would be fun… and a far, far shorter ride than from here to Bothell!
Time for breakfast.
excerpted from an email I
excerpted from an email I just sent to Sonya
I’m watching the news coverage of the HORRIBLE G-8 riots going on in Genoa right now. One protestor has been shot in the head by a riot cop, and he has died. Scenes of cars blowing up, and the cops beating beating beating people with their night sticks. It’s so scary and horrible and I can’t turn the tvs off. Then, they change over to a shot of Chandra Levy’s parents crying. Doesn’t anything good happen in the world?
Confidential to Benlau I think
Confidential to Benlau
I think your life is a very interesting movie.
Kinda artsy and odd, but very very good.
Full of symbolism.
oh my god, that’s some
oh my god, that’s some funky sh*t
Please, for the love of god, check out the “Tangerine Vinaigrette” bit in Pamala’s blog. I laughed so hard at the Laurie/Ed conversation I almost wet myself. (Not a good thing to do, considering the swanky office I’m in TODAY.)
Dumb blogger. Won’t let me
Dumb blogger.
Won’t let me post big blogs.
sigh.
blatantly, shamelessly stolen from Pamala
blatantly, shamelessly stolen from Pamala
A week or so ago, I ripped off Pamala’s “how well do you know me?” quiz, and sent it to all of my best friends from high school. So far, only one of them has responded, so here it is. Yay, Julia! You win the big prize. ( I don’t know what that is yet.)
Format, just so’s you know…
Question
Answer
Response to answer
Julia takes a stab at me
1. My name?
Alicia Dawn Barta
yup!
2. Where did we meet?
IMSA, Integrated Science class.
hm… was Integrated first and second period sophomore year? You know,I think you may be right.
3. Take a stab at my middle name:
did already.
yeah, but have I ever told you the story?
My uncle Don made my mom promise, at a family reunion, that her child would be named after him - even if it was a girl. ;) So, the story she tells NOW is that her compromise was to change the spelling. BUT, I kind of suspect it was a name she really liked, and she’s just placating my uncle. (And then, when Brandon was named, the whole cycle started all over again.)
4. How long have you known me?
8 years in aug.
yup.
5. How well do you know me?
i always ask myself that. =)
Pretty fucking well, considering how little we see each other. Better than most people… especially the past year or so.
6. Do I smoke?
yeah. the question is what =)
ha, ha, ha. Of course, now that I’m stage managing, I’m smoking like a chimney again - but only during rehearsals. Not so good for the lungs, folks. *sigh*
7. Do I believe in God?
yeah. the question is which =)
/I/ don’t even know the answer to this question - your guess is as good as mine.
8. When you first saw me what was your impression?
cute, fun, like me in many ways… not implying i was cut and fun… that was in addition to, or something.
I used to love sitting in Am Stud and watching you - you seriously seemed to have a better time in there than just about anyone. You were just so HAPPY all the time, it seemed… of course, I sat at a table with Israel Tapia-Paramo and Luqman Ashasheed (sp?) so I was probably feeling a little jaded and bitter in comparison. We were SUCH bitches in that class. They probably weren’t the best table-mates… all we did was sit in class and make fun of people. We did NO work at all. I’m actually pretty shocked I passed that class.
9. My age?
hm.
13? just kidding. I believe, if my memory serves me right, you’d be 21.
Nope - sorry!
10. Birthday?
dec. 12, 1979
Right date - wrong year. I was actually born on 12/12/78. I’m younger than you, yes… but not quite /that/ much.
11. Color hair?
depends. naturally dishwater blonde. (mousy blonde I think is how you described it to me once.)
yup. I hate it. Right now, it’s medium golden brown with pale blonde chunks. You’d like it.
12. Color eyes?
blue/green
Blue, yes. Green, occasionally. Mostly they’re kinda blue-gray.
13. Do I have any siblings?
yes. brother. brandon.
true. He’s taller than I am now. His voice is deeper than my dad’s. He’s going to be driving soon. Pretty scary.
14. Have you ever had a crush on me? hehehe.
or Have you ever been jealous of me? god, do i really have to answer this?
yep. heh heh heh. (Of course, I think I can guess at the answers. Maybe they’re the same as my answers for you?)
15. What’s one of my favorite things to do?
snuggle. with pups, boy, or the friends.
That would definitely fall into my top five list.
16. Do you remember one of the 1st things I said to you?
nope. do you?
nope.
17. What’s my favorite type of music?
eclectic.
true, true.
18. What is the best feature about me?
spontenaity driven by a fear of becoming or being mediocre.
ooooh. You’re very eloquent - I would like to think that you’re right.
19. Am I shy or outgoing?
both. depends on the situation.
yup. Hit the nail on the head there.
20. Would you say I am funny? .
yesh. =)
thanksh.
21. Am I a rebel or do I follow all the rules?
again, both. depends on the situation… wether you’d like to admit it or not.
I’m a total corporate whore right now. I admit it.
22. Would you consider me a friend?
yesh.
Thanksh, again.
23. Would you call me preppy, slutty, average, sporty, punk, hippie, glam, nerdy, snobby, or something else?
all the above, except sporty. =) really.
Oh, man. I got slutty, but not sporty. Who’d’a thunk? ;)
24. Have you ever seen me cry?
about half a million times.
probably more than just about anyone but Bill.
25. If there were one good nickname for me what would it be?
i think we had a list a mile long about five years ago. =) my favorites: INez and shiggy.
I don’t have one right now… except “Barta”. And a lot of people here call me “sweets” which I think is pretty cool.
26. Are my parents still together?
unlike some of us, yes.
It’s weird, every dream I’ve had in the past month or two has involved my parents being divorced. I’m not quite sure what I think about that.
That’s it? I wanted more questions!!! =)
hey, do you want to make more up?
I stab back 1. My
I stab back
1. My name?
Julia Marie (Maria? ;) Sibley
marie. you got it. =)
Alicia sez: at our high school graduation, she was announced as Julia Maria Sibley. I thought it was really funny. [sheepish face]
2. Where did we meet?
Mr. Guest’s sophomore American Studies class?
i think i.s., but maybe you’re right. is starting our day one year and
ending it another. i’m thinking it ended it soph year…. *shrug*
Alicia sez: Oh… yes. Okay. It was 8th and 9th period ‘93 - ‘94, and it was 1st and 2nd period ‘94 - ‘95. This would mean that we met… in American Studies, because it was second period, first semester ‘93. Right? I think? I remember Jaime Wendorf and Caitlin Creed sitting at my table junior year, and Jaime would seriously say “fuck this” and go to sleep on the floor,where Dosch would just step over her. It wasn’t a good idea for us to all be so disillusioned with it, be stressed out juniors, AND move it to first and second. Not smart at all.
3. Take a stab at my middle name:
Grandmother? You know, I have no idea.
actually it sounded good. i had no idea about yours… that’s kind of funny… =)
4. How long have you known me?
Well? Five years. Known? Eight years.
yep
5. How well do you know me?
Often much better than I think.
i think the feeling’s mutual…
6. Do I smoke?
Sometimes, when you think no one is looking, but not so much now that you’re singing again
last time i smoked was in january. i was drunk and had a few drags. before that, i honestly don’t remember when, but …; take that back. November. end of. datya and I broke up right before he left town and I had a whole cigarette just to vent and to piss him off. before that, it had been a LONG time.
7. Do I believe in God?
Yes, definitely, although maybe not exactly the same God that the Methodist church believes in.
heh. true.
8. When you first saw me what was your impression?
Wow, she’s such a hick. I haven’t seen anyone wear a peasant blouse like that since eighth grade. (hehe)
thanks. =)
Alicia sez: 14-year-olds can be way bitchy. Especially really insecure ones.
9. My age?
23
yep.
10. Birthday?
January twenty somethingth, 1978. D’oh. I have to go look it up.
jan 27, 1978.
11. Color hair?
blonde at heart, dark blonde in practice.
i’ve been contemplating this one all night…. i think you’re right, but i’m not sure yet. =)
12. Color eyes?
Kinda hazel-y, right?
green. close enough. =)
13. Do I have any siblings?
Myra, Ashley, and Melissa. 19, 16, and… 10?
you go girl! … soon (a few years?) Travis, 22. Step bro doesn’t count.
14. Have you ever had a crush on me? yes
or Have you ever been jealous of me? yes
yeah, mine are the same as yours. when and why were you jealous of me?
i honestly don’t know.
Alicia sez: Probably the same reason you were jealous of me, for a long time. Little did we know, eh?
15. What’s one of my favorite things to do?
Play hostess. Sing. Dance, whether salsa or a nice tango to “The St. Louis Blues”.
i refuse to dance salsa now. sing, play hostess, definately right up there. =)
16. Do you remember one of the 1st things I said to you?
Not even vaguely.
we’re even then. =)
17. What’s my favorite type of music?
Musicals, musicals, musicals… as well as a million other things.
yep
18. What is the best feature about me?
For Julia: This awesome resilience that eventually bounces you back from everything, even if it takes awhile.
For Alicia: being able to just yak away whenever we talk, no matter how long it’s been in between.
man, that makes me schmarmy inside. =)
19. Am I shy or outgoing?
Exuberant, effervescent, and wary.
wow. I’d like to put that on my resume. =)
20. Would you say I am funny?
Oh god yes, and often not on purpose!
uh,oh.
21. Am I a rebel or do I follow all the rules?
Model Girl Scout with occasional moments of Maureen.
*grin* I was listening to RENT the other day. I think I’m growing up some…. *terror*
Alicia sez: Julia once took off across the country - from Northern Illinois to NYC - to audition for Rent. She made the decision in a matter of hours, and just… LEFT. At the time, I thought she was going to get killed, but in hindsight I realize how ballsy it really was.
22. Would you consider me a friend?
yes!
thanks.
23. Would you call me preppy, slutty, average, sporty, punk, hippie, glam, nerdy, snobby, or something else?
Goodie-goodie-diva-sneak-mover-shaker-goddess-in-training-indecisive-multi-talented-multi-directional-heat-seaking-missile.
do you want to write my resume? =)
(i was boring for your reply. Let me ruminate over it)
24. Have you ever seen me cry?
Yup. I sure have.
top three peopele to cry in front of, don’t much in front of anyone else EVER:
alicia
ryan
satya.
25. If there were one good nickname for me what would it be?
um. um. Julie? Oh, not what IS it but what WOULD it be? hm. Marilyn?
;)
There was a time when it was Estelle, but I don’t like that one so much.
why not? I sometimes think about it and i laugh histericaly. I don’t know if there was more estelle in julia or more julia in estelle.
Alicia sez: Hm. I think maybe I associate the “No Exit” nicknames more with the negative facets of the characters than the positive ones. As a matter of fact, when I think about it, I don’t really see much of anything positive about them. Maybe this is just the way I’m remembering the experience, but I would much rather call you something that envokes more of a… complimentary tone. Y’know what I mean?
26. Are my parents still together?
nope.
you’ve got that one right.
I thought that was pretty damn good. Not too many wrong!
I’ll post my screwy dream later. It included Bill, Guy Pearce, Bruce Hall, Ryan, Erica Muller’s little sisters, Brian Cudiamat, and Mr. Bill.
It’s broken my brain.
Confidential to Heather Moore: You
Confidential to Heather Moore:
You really are cool too.
traffic jam, got more jobs
traffic jam, got more jobs than a beach got sand
I’m back at Adams this morning. I really like working here, even if the phones are often SUPER-heavy. The only crappy thing about it is… I don’t have access to my email, and I have a million people I need to send stuff to, or request stuff from. Last night was my first night stage managing for Velvet Rut, and I am runnin’ behind. I’m curious to see how this whole deal pans out… I’m feeling a little undereducated, as it were, but I have Heather and Sonya to save me, so I guess that’s okay.
And now, I’m going to fix this poor girl’s resume, because she’s got a lot of experience, but her resume stinks. (My perm consultant loves me!)
dance like nobody’s watching For
dance like nobody’s watching
For my non-seattle-theatre-friends, here is a great article that explains exactly what 14/48 is. And, here’s a cute article about Matt Richter and the future of ConWorks. The Stranger is sponsoring a urinal. I think that’s hilarious.
One more thing… gender is
One more thing… gender is just an excuse, relationships shouldn’t just be an excuse, love is often an excuse, although sometimes these excuses are all we have to hold onto, death is the reason and living is the celebration
(I wrote this whole thing in one piece and then blogger refused to publish it, so I divided it up for your reading pleasure.)
Just when I think I can’t possibly have a better weekend than the one I’m having, I have it. 14/48 was incredible. So, here’s the (brief) rundown…
Friday was a blast. Scot Augustson’s script, William Cole directing, cast of me, Imogen Love, and Erik Van Beauzekom (I know I screwed the spelling up - sorry!) The play was serious but funny and leaped from one time to another. I got to play an eight year old, and a forty-something, and Imogen and Erik were about the cutest senile old couple ever. It was a blast.
I went home for an hour in the afternoon, and I got a call from Lori - the current exec. secretary at RGI. She thanked me for the thank-you-for-interviewing-me card I sent, and said that if I was still interested, I’m one of the top few people they’re considering, and I should have an answer by the time Laura and John get back from their trip (the 27th.) Woo hoo!
At the 8:00, I was actually really nervous. That may sound stuck-up, but the truth of the matter is, I NEVER get nervous - not on opening night, not on closing night, not ever (practically). First of all, I tripped over the edge of the stage and totally bit it while carrying the couch on with Erik. Not the most auspicious of beginnings. As the lights were coming up, my stomach jumped into my throat. But, luckily enough, I felt like it went really well - and so did the 10:30. It was so fun getting to watch everyone else… and to meet SO MANY MILLIONS OF PEOPLE. (Sidebar: I just burned the CRAP out of my tongue! Oh my God! Boiling coffee! Aaaauuuughhhhh!)
I also had my first “wow, I really live and work here” moment. One of my two major skills happens to be that I am really good at remembering names and faces. I can type fast, and if I meet you I’ll remember you later. So, because of that (and because of my newbie-ness to the Seattle Theatre scene), I know who a LOT of actors/directors are. I recognize them, because I’m doing my best to meet as many people as possible and make as many connections as I can. However, I know full well that 99% of these people will little know nor care who I am, and that’s okay, because I haven’t done a lot of stuff yet. BUT, after my show was over Friday night, Amy Augustine (whom I recognize, of course, but have never met) walked up to me in the hallway and said “Nice job, Alicia.” At this point, I nearly fell over. I had no idea how she knew who I was, but it really meant a lot. So, anyway. That was the show Friday. Easy to memorize, easy to perform, and the whole day was just a beautiful, beautiful breeze.
Saturday I wasn’t supposed to
In the end, our show included a gingham pinafore and ruby slippers, beanies, a beard and bikini of bees, Iranian/British/Jewish shepherds, an Irish lesbian shepherdess, and a patron saint in a graduation gown, halo, and jesus sandals, complete with portable cloud. Our staging just got sillier and sillier as the day progressed. We had such a GREAT time on stage, and everyone was really sad for it to all be over. (My personal favorite parts were making fun of Ron as his alter-shepherd-ego, and being a plant in the audience, where I got to SHREIK and freak everyone out, especially Jena Cane, who was right in front of me. Woo hoo!)
All of the shows were brilliant on Saturday. (They were great on Friday too, but I actually saw ALL of them on Saturday. Or, rather, all but one.) Nate was in this fantastic Michael Neff piece that included him and three other people sitting on a porch and smoking and talking. It was lazy and slow and fantastic, and supposedly it was that way because Imogen and Mark (Dias) were so hung over that morning… and the director said “Yes! That’s it!” The one that really killed me was the last one - it was an anti-play that had Tricia Rodley (dressed as an astronaut), Eric V.B. (as a mariachi-type), and some other guy I don’t know wearing a gorilla suit. They stood in front of music stands, and read from a note sent to them from the playwright. Tricia’s dealt with how the playwright wanted to maybe have them do a re-enactment from Our Town… and while describing the details, she got all choked up - but in such a simple, honest way that by the time she was done, I was seriously weeping in the audience. She is so freaking brilliant. Everyone told me (during Sizemore, when she was the SM and I was the ASM) that she was an amazing actor, and I finally got to see just a little piece of it. Yay, Rodley. You rule.
Then, at the end of the final play, the 14/48 band played “Dream On”, and all the casts came up on stage to dance around and take our bow. The staging of the whole thing was beautiful, and it was a pretty emotional time for everyone, since it was the last show that anyone was going to watch in that space, since ConWorks is moving. The new space is huge and fantastic, but everyone’s obviously a little nostalgic. OH - and there was a video! Gary somebody came in on Thursday and Friday and videotaped everyone doing what they do, and he put together a five minute video of what 14/48 is all about. It was gorgeous, and Meaghan said it really epitomizes why she loves 14/48 so much. I had to agree - even though it was only the first time I’d done it, I was really touched by what the whole thing meant. As Bill Cole (my director) kept saying, “If it wasn’t for 14/48, I would never meet you. You’re connected with Annex, I’m connected with Theatre Babylon, if I ever met you it would be for 3 minutes at an audition, and that would be it. I might ask you one question, but we would never know each other. Now, I know you, and through me everyone I work with will know you. That’s what this is all about.”
On Saturday night, I had another “Oh my GOD, someone recognizes me” moment. After the show was over, I went to grab a beer, and I was stopped by a woman named Tina. She said “Great job tonight, and by the way, I really loved you in Pearl”… and of course, I stood there stupefied for a moment, staring at her like a total idiot. Finally, I thanked her, and talked to her for a moment - but it still freaked me out. Somehow, I think I have developed the belief that I can act for the rest of my life within a little sphere of anonymity where people will see me but then immediately forget. It’s definitely going to take a bit of getting used to. This city is getting smaller and smaller by the day.
Another “aha!” moment this weekend came when I was chatting with Jaedra in the bathroom. She said they were lucky to have me as an alternate, and I said that I couldn’t even believe how lucky I was to be there in the first place. I felt like thanking everyone I saw for letting me in to their “All-Star” show. It was like Oz. We talked about why 14/48 is so important, and she said that it totally renews people’s passion. “It reminds us why we do what we do, and it re-energizes us to keep going.” That was pretty much how I felt too. All ready and raring to go! And then it was…
Sunday I dragged myself out
I dragged myself out of bed an hour late and took off or my audition for “Burt (or When I Was Five I Killed Myself)” at Theatre Babylon. Who was the first person I saw? William Cole, my director from both days of 14/48, whom otherwise I would never have laid eyes on. He looked just as happy to be awake as I was, and the whole experience was like 14/48 redux: meeting people, making connections, “That’s why we do this”… and there I was, handing in my forms. Very surreal. Pamala had just gone, and Nate was also there, so it was a fun audition. I did the piece from “Mass Murder” that Jeff had helped me cut for the TPS Generals (which I didn’t end up doing), and despite the fact that I hadn’t spoken those words since we closed on June 16, the monologue went well. Then, I got the Burt’s Mom monologue… which I thought went so-so-kinda-okay. After I was done, Teddi (Yaeger, the author) said that it was really nice, and that I had a lot of layers. She said “So, you’ve seen the show, right?” and I said “Sadly, no, we haven’t lived here very long and I wasn’t aware it was happening at the time” and she said “Oh, so then Susanna (the director) gave you the spiel, right?” and I said “No, did I miss something?” and they both looked at each other like they were puzzled. I thought I’d done something wrong, but then Teddi said “It’s really impressive that you caught all the important parts without knowing the play.” Score! I totally live for moments like that. Thank you, Dona, your cold reading workshops saved my life. The scene reading went okay - I read with a girl named Kathy (I don’t know her last name), and she was super-fun. I got to play the Cruella DeVille teacher and yell a lot and act nasty. Then, I was supposed to be finished, but there were some guys outside who needed a woman to read with. This was where things became unpleasant. I was the nurse, and we practiced it a couple of times… but when we got in, Susanna said “Now, this nurse needs to be at least 60.” shit. I didn’t make NEARLY enough of a choice, which may have totally invalidated anything I might have done right earlier. Plus, our printer wasn’t working, so I had written out my resume by hand on the back of my headshot. In one sense, the experience was a prime example of me not being prepared, and how much better it might have been if I had really been ready. At the same time, it was a good example of how well an audition can go when you go in there with the attitude that you don’t really have anything to lose. I didn’t go in expecting that I was going to be the perfect replacement for Susanna Burney (of course), and because of that I think I did much better than I might have otherwise, if I had been wanting it too much. So, who knows. Auditioning is such a crapshoot - so now I get to wait until Friday to find out. (?????) I guess we’ll see.
After the audition, Nate and I went out for brunch at The High Spot in Leschi. The food was SO good, and it’s always so great to get to spend time with him. If anyone out there DOESN’T know Nate Emmons, go to his house and meet him. (I’m kidding.) He’s such a trip. He performed his monologue for me in the restaurant: He was someone from The Good Woman of Szechuan, and he was using shakers as props and smirking out at me from behind his glasses. Impromptu restaurant theatre is so great.
After brunch, it was time to go to the BBQ/Company meeting at AJ’s, in Magnolia. His house is so cute!! We cooked out, and got rained on, and cuddled, and played Celebrity, my new favorite game. Gilly gave me an accidental Tim Sanders with her fingernails (woo hoo!), and reminded me, as I sat there laughing my ass off, that I do, in fact, have girlfriends here. (She’s right.) I spent the entire second half of the night cuddled up on the couch with Gilly and Chris Dietz and Pamala and Tom Milewski and Tim Sanders and Benlau and a whole slew of people, and I couldn’t have been happier. I seriously love these people more and more every day. By the time we got home, Bill and I were so exhausted. It was a fantastic, fantastic weekend.
Monday The only thing
The only thing that happened Monday that was noteworthy:
I’m working on Velvet Rut now!
Tricia Sexton called me last night and told me that Sonya’s going to be in the show, so they’re looking for an SM and an ASM. Apparently, Patrick and I are going to split the duties, since both of us have ASM’d but neither of us have SM’d before. I was thrilled - Heather had mentioned at the company meeting that they needed board ops, and I was going to volunteer to do that since I wanted to be part of Velvet Rut so much. I am a HUGE fan of generative projects, and I’m so psyched to be part of it! It closes the night before “Burt” rehearsals start, so even on the outside chance that I DID get a part, I could still do both. I’ve been spending my nights at home freaking out about not working on a show right now, and I’d much rather be doing stuff backstage than not doing anything at all. Gotta keep busy, busy, busy!
Today, Tuesday I’m temping at
I’m temping at BBFM, an advertising firm in Queen Anne. Who am replacing, you might ask? Another temp! Who might that temp be, you might ask? The one, the only… Roberta Plonski! She’s temping here long-term, but she has the day off, so I get to play Roberta for a day. I love her to death. She even left me a little “Hi, Alicia! Have a good day!” note for when I came in this morning. What a doll. I’m listening to her Beth Orton CD that she left here, and it’s good. I’d never heard Beth Orton before. Next, Garbage! I’m on my second huge mug of coffee, and I’m feeling awake in the eyes-watering-and-glassed-over-brain-twitching-but-not-really-functioning way. Ugh. When will it be lunch, for the love of god???
Okay, enough blog for one day.
Or at least until after lunch.
do you believe in
do you believe in strangers, finding that they are old angels
Surprise, SURPRISE!
Guess who’s doing 14/48?
(Better) Nate (than Never) called me last night in a blind frenzy, telling me in half jibberish and half yiddish that if I wanted to be an alternate for 14/48 that I needed to call THIS NUMBER as SOON AS POSSIBLE. When I didn’t respond immediately (I was waiting for Billy to get home) he came to my APARTMENT and stood outside my window so that he could yell at me when I didn’t pick up the phone. After a five minute conversation I remember very little of, except that I was sweating at a very high speed, he took off into the night, and I was left panting and not really knowing why. The end result of all of this was: I called the number, spoke to someone named Megan, got off the phone, realized Nate had left me a voice mail, checked the voicemail, and realized I’d been talking to Megan Moloney without even realizing it was her. I felt like quite the dumb little piece of shit.
So, I called my temp agency’s paging service and left a message that I might only be able to work until ten or ten thirty, asked if it was okay, blah blah blah. When I awoke this morning five minutes before I was supposed to be at WORK, I freaked out and called my agency, who had NEVER GOTTEN THE PAGE. I dashed off to work late and had to explain to THEM that I might have to leave early (to replace a pregnant woman, a concept they failed to grasp completely. They kept asking which hospital I was going to.) So, when I got the call from Megan at 8:45, I realized that I would actually have to leave at 9:30, and they weren’t too pleased. Lucky I was only missing two and a half hours of work! (See earlier post about job getting out at 12:00 on Fridays.) So, I left at 9:45 (of course) and ran to ConWorks… where I see eight million people I know.
Here’s where my day gets weird.
I go up to Megan, who is looking MEGA-stressed, and find out that I’m in a play written by Scot Augustson, and that one of the other actors is Imogen Love. This, frankly, is HILARIOUS to me, because now I’ve come full circle. The very first show I saw in Seattle, after we moved here, was “Reverse Psychology” at the Empty Space. Who was in that show, naked and fabulous? That would be Ms. Imogen Love. I thought the show was fantastic, and I remember seeing her as being the example of the successful professional actor that I would never be. I saw her outside the theatre right before the show, and was sort of awestruck that she was out smoking with the viewing audience. Then, later, I go to get my taxes done, and she’s the receptionist at H&R Block. While I’m waiting to get my taxes done, we discuss the fact that I saw her naked, and I start to smack myself out of the idea that this whole thing is something I couldn’t ever do. Three shows later, I’m pretty deeply imbedded, and now I’m getting to work with her on a project. I just think the whole situation is too perfect for words. (She’s my mom.)
Scot’s script is brilliant, and from what I’ve been told, it’s totally anti-normal-Scot-work. Apparently, you should “throw away everything you know about Scot Augustson, and you would have this play.” We switch ages every few lines, it’s odd, but so very good. Quote from our director, William: “I almost want to kill Scot Augustson, because he’s too fucking good.”
Anyway, I’m just on a break right now, so I can change out of my leopard-print shirt, let out the dogs, and turn around and go right back to ConWorks. Bill, if you should happen to read this, for the love of god: come home and let the dogs out later. I won’t be home again until probably after the ten thirty show. Or is it ten? I don’t remember. In any case, you should COME when you’re done with rehearsal, because I know I won’t get to talk to you for the rest of the day! (Damn us not having cell phones.)
*whew*
Back to the grind… lines to memorize, miles to walk, peanuts to point at. (You’ll see what I mean if you watch the show.)
tell it to my heart,
tell it to my heart, tell me i’m the only one
Well, this has been the day of serious blog lovin’. Awwww yeah.
First of all, Pamala rules. She posted a recipe and made me seriously hungry for black beans. Thanks, Petunia!
Secondly, Sonya rules. She is looking for a new skill to learn, and she approved of at least one of my suggestions, even if she did spell my name wrong. =) You’re welcome, Begonia!
Thirdly, Ben rules. He came back from Texas. He has no florally-based nickname.
In response, I wanted to learn a skill, cook a tortilla, post a recipe, go on vacation… but I don’t even know how to balance my checkbook, I can’t find my fun baked-cheese-olive hors d’oevres recipe because I can’t seem to find the the Sydney Olympics Australian Recipes site, and I have no money to go anywhere. So, I am sitting here, at Callison’s, twiddling my thumbs and reveling in saying “I’m sorry, he’s in France until the beginning of August” and in sending copious amounts of faxes to places like Japan, the Netherlands, Italy, Denmark, and Korea. Oh, and drinking smoothies out of a can.
Tonight, I get to go home and watch WWF SMACKDOWN! This is nearly exciting enough to make up for the dullness of today. However, it’s not enough to stop me from ITCHING (to find out whether or not I got the job at RGI, as well as because my sunburn from Sunday has reached its full itchiness capacity.) itch, itch, itch. scratch scratch.
Only five more minutes…
there are no mistakes, only
there are no mistakes, only happy accidents
I love it when great, fun things happen totally unexpectedly. Yesterday, I had an impromptu lunch date with the inimitable (sp?) Heather Moore! I’m temping downtown, like always, and during my lunch hour I decided to go buy a Thank You note for the people I interviewed with last Friday. * Of course, since I was already at sixth and Olive, I went to Pacific Place, thinking that if I was going to buy a card, I should probably patronize the paper store assistant-managed by my favorite production manager. I went inside, thinking I was going to be all slick - I was going to pick out the card, and then nonchalantly drop it on the counter and say something stupid, before she realized it was me. No dice. I couldn’t find any thank you cards, and then after I’d stood behind the rotating rack peering at her for awhile, someone else came up and said “Uh, can I help you?” So, by the time I’d found a single (ie not-a-box) Thank You note for less than eight dollars (the one I really wanted was $8.50, and it was so purty, but I only had six dollars!), she had disappeared. I asked the girl behind the counter where she was, and within moments Heather appeared, and whisked me off to a hot dog stand! It was lovely. We talked about job choices and jumping off cliffs (“You think if you stand there long enough the other side will get closer, but it won’t”) and other things. I think it RULES that she is quitting her grind so that she can do what she loves. You GO, Heather! Maybe someday I’ll be that gutsy and cool. But, for the time being, I will send off my snivelling little cover letters to anyone who needs someone to do their grunt work. (Okay, that’s being a little overdramatic, but I HAVE sent out many, many resumes, and gone on many, many interviews. I just haven’t found the right fit yet.)
* I would really LOVE to work for RGI. My interview there was so fun, and the drive was great, and it’s just the type of stuff I would love to do. More of a personal assistant job than an office assistant one, as far as I could tell. Laura is just a fantastic woman and I would love to be the one making her travel arrangements! Ah well. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see.
My mother, the eternal optimist, thinks there’s a silver lining in EVERYTHING. For awhile, I thought perhaps the silver lining in this interminable job hunt was that I was learning patience. In fact, I’m actually learning how to fake patience. In reality, I’m about ready to have a coronary from all the suspense.
sigh.
Maybe I’ll distract myself with some noodles.
no earthly ships will ever
no earthly ships will ever bring him home again
Billy’s family’s cat died yesterday. Her name was Annie, and she was fourteen, and as far as anyone knew, she was healthy and fine. Apparently she had a tumor that no one knew about. It’s amazing to me how connected people get to their pets. Teddy was the first dog I ever had - I begged my entire childhood away, and spent whatever time I had left at every library in the county, reading every book they had about dogs. (Not the kids’ section books either. The real ones.) People would sign my yearbook “Have a great summer. Get a dog.” After what amounted to years of deliberation, I decided I wanted a Sheltie, and as luck would have it, there was a breeder right outside of Charleston (Illinois, not South Carolina - my hometown.) At this point, I was eleven - and the day we went to visit the breeder’s home was seriously the most important day of my entire life. Once we got there, I sat in a lawn chair, and this four and a half month old puppy jumped up in my lap, put his paws on my shoulders, and began kissing my face. It was love at first sight. For a geeky eleven year-old who’d skipped a grade and therefore didn’t have many friends, this was a HUGE deal. Now, Teddy is eleven and a half. He has such horrible arthritis that he can’t even climb the stairs to our deck anymore. I haven’t seen him since April of 2000, and I’m really worried that I won’t ever see him again. Or, that I’ll see him, and he’ll be so old and it will have been so long since I’ve seen him that he won’t remember me. (Whenever anyone mentions my name at home, he still cries. Even though I haven’t lived at home since summer of 1993, he’s still my dog.) I just miss him like hell, even though I have my own babies to play with now. sigh. I’m so sorry, Bill.
FOUND ON THE INSIDE OF
FOUND ON THE INSIDE OF MY SOBE GREEN TEA LID
With malice
towards none
and lizards
for all
we all lose our charms
we all lose our charms in the end
I just had what was probably the best, most wonderful weekend I’ve had in… years. Since I can’t remember when. It all sort of happened by accident, but it was so, so fabulous and now I’m just sorry it’s over. (For SEVERAL reasons.)
Bill and I slept in really late… got up, lounged around, watched some of Grease on TV, and finally decided to go to Fred Meyer to get a long phone cord for the computer. On the way out to the car, Bill surprises me by saying that he thinks we should go to Red Robin for dinner and then rent a movie. (We don’t get to go out very often, so I was really excited about this.) It’s only recently that Bill and I have been able to spend our weekends together. He used to work Sunday - Thursday and then Saturday mornings, and I worked Monday-Friday. So, the fact that we get to spend our weekends together at ALL is still really novel and fun to me. This is only our third shared weekend that I can remember.
I’d never been to Red Robin before, and I’d never seen a drawbridge all the way UP before. (I still amaze myself at how enchanted I can be by the simplest things.) Then, instead of coming straight home, we proceeded to go on a drive around North Capitol Hill and Fremont for the next hour or so. We had the windows down and the radio up and the weather was beautiful. Eventually, we ran into Gasworks Park, by accident. We wandered around the park and looked at the city and were amazed that we LIVE here. Finally, we drove home and rented Strictly Ballroom, one of MY favorite movies, which Bill had never seen. After the whole day was over, I fell asleep on the living room floor watching (or rather, listening to) Paul Simon in concert on TV with Piper fast asleep on my chest with her muzzle resting against my cheek. It was probably the most calm, peaceful moment of my life. (Puppies are good that way.)
Sunday morning we woke up (comparatively) early because we couldn’t remember for sure if the GTO (Good Times Officiators? Officers? Overseers? Overlords?) brunch was that day or not. I called Gilly’s cell, and she sounded SO PERKY that I immediately woke up. (You can’t be half asleep and talking to someone who’s that awake, you’ll just make a total ass of yourself.) We dragged ourselves to the grocery store for some coffeecake, and then headed for Jaye and Rick and Stephen’s place… only half an hour late. Within half an hour of arriving, the house had become insane. Here is my vague remembrance of who all was there: Jaye, Stephen, Rick, Gillian, Heather, Tricia, Jason, Bret, Bruce Hall, Kevin, Jennifer Pratt and her sister Kris(tin), Sonya, Matt Fontaine, Tim Sanders, Megan Moloney, Ron Darling, and Zach. (If I missed anyone I am sincerely sorry.)
The food was SO good… Megan made egg casserole and potatoes, Gilly spent the whole morning (afternoon?) with the waffle iron, Jaye made bacon, Matty made strawberry sauce and real whipped cream for the waffles… everything was amazing. People were in and out and all over - I spent most of the time sitting on the front porch, talking to people. I kept thinking I was going to go inside, but then someone would come outside to smoke and I would want to talk to them, so I would stay. (I would pay for this chattiness later with my crispy hide.) The best part about that was, I got to spend time talking to Megan and Jennifer, whom I don’t normally get to talk to very much. After sitting around the house, screwing off and looking at pictures of people making out at a party (online), everyone decided to go to the quad of Seattle Prep (across the street) and play a very enthusiastic, very bad game of frisbee. It was SO much fun - normally I don’t like playing frisbee because I’m so embarassed about how much I stink at it, but yesterday it was okay. Everyone stank. It was great.
After we’d been playing for awhile, Jaye came out to announce that Zach had invited us to his parents’ house on Lake Washington. While she was talking, Tim tackled her - at which point she fell down and started whimpering. We all thought he’d really hurt her, and Tim freaked out. He bent down to see if she was okay, and she stood up, totally triumphant. She had gotten him, and she had gotten him GOOD. It was about the funniest damn thing I’ve ever seen. So, we all got into our million different cars and took off for Zach’s family’s house. It was beautiful… this colonial-type house with columns and its own little circle drive. The basement was enormous - with a pool table, a huge entertainment center, and every piece of exercise equipment imaginable. From the basement, if you looked out the sliding glass doors, you saw the lake - with Mt. Rainier looming huge above everything. As a midwestern girl who’s used to looking out over a sea of corn, the sight of water still shocks me.
We proceeded to swim in the FREEZING water and play fetch with the neighbor’s dog (who, by the way, stole my ball and then proceeded to forget where he had put it). Eventually, Zach decided he was going to take the boat out, and a bunch of us went along. During the first boat ride, two of the brave ladies in the boat went swimming topless, and one particularly dashing guy went swimming wearing nothing but Jaye’s bikini bottoms. (I’m not going to name any names, but I will say that he looked pretty damn cute.) We came back to shore, and almost immediately went out AGAIN - this time with Stephen driving. Let me just say now that he drives a boat in much the same fashion he drives a car. However, when you’re in the prow of a boat taking all that wind in your teeth, it somehow feels significantly faster than it does when you’re protected. (Gillian, Megan, Kris, Jaye, and I kicked that lake’s ASS from the front of the boat.) By the time we got back the second time, everyone was starving. Zach marinated and grilled some chicken breasts, Heather made her (understandably) famous guacamole, and we ate like a bunch of freaking HOGS. Zach’s family was so kind to us… we were kind of raucous and sloppy and his mother didn’t seem to mind at all.
After everyone had finished eating, Gilly brought us all out into the yard to play “Celebrity”, which I had never played. It was SUPER-fun, despite a certain dyslexic EMT-type who had a sick dream to watch one of us impersonating a deer getting shot. ( If you ever hear mention of “Babbi’s Mother” and then screaming, that would be why.) I was part of team “Ride the Lightning” with Tim, Sonya, and Gillian - and despite being the only team of four, we cleaned up. (As much as a three-point margin is “cleaning up”.) By this point, it was after ten o’clock… we had all been together for ten hours, and some of us were realizing that six-thirty a.m. was FAR too close at hand. I was exhausted as well as really sunburned, and it was time to go home. I don’t think my bed has ever felt so nice.
So…
And now, it’s time for lunch.
mm bop On a slightly
mm bop
On a slightly less ponderous note, here was my “something is right with the world” moment today. Just about every day, I walk by TarGen on my way to work. (Those of you who didn’t know, Sonya Walker works there.) Every day, I walk by on my way to work, and I walk by on my way home, and every time I find myself thinking “Hey, Sonya works the same hours I do, why haven’t I ever seen her?”
Today, as I was walking by, I peered in the window, and there she was, setting her stuff down and settling in to her enormous desk. I smiled to myself and kept right on walking, since I was ten minutes late for work.
nothing’s gonna harm you,
nothing’s gonna harm you, not while I’m around
Happy anti-climactic FIFTH OF JULY! If you’re anything like the office I’m currently temping in, you’re probably either hung over, tired, cranky, dizzy, gassy, or some odd combination of two or more. I thought the fireworks were great - not quite as cool as the New Year’s fireworks off the shneedle, but still pretty fun. Of course, this was the first time I’ve ever sat on a beach and watched fireworks, so that was pretty novel. (I’m from Illinois, this “water” stuff is all new to me.)
Yesterday was simultaneously a really amazing day and a really, really cruddy, sort of heartwrending day. It was great because I got to talk to Julia. (Excuse the picture, it’s about five years old… but seriously, some things never change.) She was part of my second-semester-senior-year “threesome”… one of my inseparables. (The three of us really met for the first time after we’d been cast in No Exit. Go figure.) I’ve been just dying over the fact that I can’t afford to get to my high school reunion - I don’t know about anyone else, but for me, the second semester of my senior year in high school was probably the best, most rewarding time of my life. I started acting and was immediately SUCKED in. I did three shows in four months, two of which overlapped for a few weeks, and turned into this total addict. The three of us spent those four solid months LOCKED together, rehearsing in physics classrooms, performing in the orchestra room, fighting the administration, and doing something that changed my life. Right now, a lot of my friends are going through a period where they just feel aimless - they don’t know what they want, where they’re going, how to get there… for those few months, I was a machine, and so were all the people I surrounded myself with. That period of my life is the reason that I’m here right now: enjoying the hell out of my self as a poor-ass actor who temps on the side.
Staying in touch with Julia, Ryan, and my friend Casie really keeps me grounded. They are my link to the time in my life when I was most myself. As Julie said yesterday, it feels like “coming home”. Sort of reminds me of where I’ve been, and what I’ve done, and where the HELL I’m going. Anyway, that was the good part of the day. That, and the fireworks, of course.
The bad part of the day didn’t have to do with anything actually happening. It just occurred when I realized that Ryan (our third “inseparable”) and I haven’t talked once in over a year. He’s in Japan right now teaching English, and the last email I got from him was a mass email on July 14, 2000 that said “I’m moving to Japan, here’s my contact information”. It’s like - okay, has everyone seen the movie Threesome? Due to the amount of time we spent together and some viciously planted rumors, it became our favorite movie. Anyway, there’s this quote at the end that says something to the effect of, “How can someone be such a necessary part of your life one day, and just disappear the next? Isn’t it supposed to last?” It frightens me that this guy, who was my best friend in the world for such a long time, and who quite literally saved my life, can just vanish from my life for over a year. It pisses me off that neither of us did anything about it. I don’t know who to be angrier with, him or myself. (It is, however, significantly easier to yell at myself, since I’m on the same continent.) I’ve had a lot of friends in my life that I didn’t really mind losing, when the time came. This is not one of those times.
Anyway, it’s time for me to stop bitching and go to lunch. I have this sudden jones to ditch work entirely and go home and watch “10 Things I Hate About You”, since Ben is in Texas this week and I miss him. That dork.
doctor, my eyes Well,
doctor, my eyes
Well, goodbye, Annex. Sunday was about the most depressing company meeting ever. We talked about what’s going on next, and then that was it. Everyone took off. Ta ta, Annex.
Things I brought home from Annex:
One 3’ stone-looking pedastal (our new phone stand)
One Rubber Horseshoe (which was nailed above the door to the Sharon McMenamin Memorial Attic)
One book on Vintage Film (Billy’s)
One cartoon board about round-headed-drawing-people having sex (I have no idea.)
An eternal affection for the phrase “but there used to be a door there!”
So, now we’ll have a little piece of the 4th Avenue space for our home. (That is, of course, once we dredge up the energy to drag it out of our car.)
The party itself was totally insane. I was too starstruck to actually TALK to Jillian Armenante. Pretty stupid, eh? I kept thinking “someone from Annex was in a movie with Angelina Jolie and Winona Ryder. Wow. She actually… talked to them… and stuff. Whoa.” Basically, I was a total idiot about it, when in all honesty I should have just walked up to her and said “Hi. I think you rule, because you’re not a stick, and you’re making it. Big girls kick ass. You’re a great role model. Good job.”
All the Annex Oldies that I met were so great. Doug told me a story about talking to Paul Allen while he was on his private jet to ask for money (mm, parse THAT!), Jeff (I think?) talked about dating Chris Jeffries in the “mesozoic” age before Chris and Ed got together, etc etc etc. I felt like a part of history, which - for someone of my meager almost 23 years - doesn’t happen very often. Bill and Farrage and Pamala and a bunch of people climbed up the Cameras West sign, which (in my inebriated state) SCARED ME TO DEATH, and people were generally feeling crazy. We went home far sooner than I would have liked, but… um… that was my own fault. What can I say.
Then, the next day was our three year anniversary! We split right after the company meeting and went out to eat at Mama’s, this great kitchy Mexican place in Belltown (somewhere). We had to wander around for awhile, but it was all worth it for the Black bean and Spinach Quesadilla. DAMN was that good. Then, we went home and watched “10 Things I Hate About You”… which, I might add, was one of my favorite movies even BEFORE I knew Benlau was in it. (Bill, by the way, thought Ben’s part of the movie was so funny that he rewound it about six times.) All in all, it was a great anniversary, even if it didn’t involve presents. Now I can say that we’ve been together three years without feeling guilty about cheating. Now, I really mean it. (Sweet.)
I’ve spent a lot of time recently reading people’s blogs. They are so amusing to me - as well as making me kind of feel like I’m there. (Which has a side effect of lessening the amount of guilt I feel about how little I see them.) Stephen, do your giraffe and monkey, for the love of god. I’m serious. Also, what’s up with the flower thing? There’s Sonya Begonia and Pamala Petunia, therefore I would be… Alicia Freesia?
I guess that doesn’t sound so bad.