just by mistake, accidentally do
just by mistake, accidentally do you say my name
Losing people is hard.
Almost having the chance to maybe un-lose them
and then losing that chance
is hard…
Even when you have found new people.
Still hard.
For the past week or so, I’ve been reminiscing a LOT - about old friends, old boyfriends, old sort-of-acquaintances. All of these people who touched my life in some way… some of whom wouldn’t be able to pick me out from a line-up, now. So many of them were in one place last weekend, and I was here. Like Joey, who was my best friend in the WORLD for most of my junior year, until I finally realized he liked me liked me, and things got ugly. Like Sindhu, my senior year support network, who used to have mint tea and PB&J with me at three in the morning in our wing lounge when life was crappy. I miss the people who have seen me at my shittiest AND best. Especially now, when I have JUST BEEN REJECTED FROM ANOTHER JOB. Yes, yet another job where I made it into the top tier, and then didn’t get it. This time, there were three top “contestants”, and we were all told that when the owners of the company got back from their next business trip, we would have our final answer. This meant TWENTY-FOUR DAYS between interview and rejection. And, of course, this was another job I really wanted. Dammit.
That part about reminiscing is good. Many people forget the main aspect of life. To know where you are going, you must always remember where you came from… otherwise, like past friends…you will lose yourself in the dialy grind called life. Sometimes though, a friend from the past resurfaces, and accepts you back in her life. You not only found this person, but… found yourself as well.
Life doesn’t define you. You define your life!!!
Like a line in an Incubus song states:
“Take the wheel and steer.”
Think about it, and it’ll all make sense.