WARNING: Due to the graphic nature of this post, parental discretion is advised.
But seriously, if you don't want to hear a somewhat gross story, you may just want to move along. Be thankful no pictures are associated with this post.
I haven't posted in a while, I've been letting Cookie take over what with the Hedera pattern and everything, but let it be said that what you are about to read was not a stunt to come up with something for the blog. Last night, after working on about half of the final sleeve for the Bookworm sweater, I decided to sit back down and do a little bit more knitting.
People, I sat on my size 7 knitting needle and it went about half an inch into my thigh (if not more). Some might say it was actually my butt, but somehow "The knitting needle went half an inch into my butt" just conjures up a different image than what I'm trying to get across here. And really, it's questionably my thigh region. Let's just say an area with plenty of cushioning, so luckily I barely felt a thing.
So I'm just kind of staring at the knitting needle coming out of my leg, trying to decide if it's really stuck in there. Could this really be happening? Luckily, A is very calm-headed when it's me that's injured (and vice-versa, I guess), so he takes another of the size 7 dpns so he can decide just how deep the knitting needle is. Yep, at least a half inch, but hard to tell with the pants stuck in there too. He says it's probably not hitting a blood vessel "because there's plenty of muscle there". I paused for a moment to think how generous it was not to say "cushioning". Then I went for it. I pulled it out. Man, did that needle give me some resistance. I had to stop about halfway out and regroup, but I did pull the thing back out of my leg. I pulled down my pants so Andy could take a look and he said "Yep, there's a hole in your leg," and handed me a kleenex for the blood.
I decided that I was about to faint so I went to lie down on the bed while I applied pressure. I was still trying not to look, because ugh, I just knew I didn't want to see it. A hole in my leg! From a size 7 needle! That's a big hole!
As I waited on the phone with Kaiser, I checked to see how much blood was coming out (very little) and continued to apply pressure as Andy looked up what our various home medical guides say to do about puncture wounds. They seemed to agree that I wouldn't need to go in, but we decided it would be smart to talk to a nurse. Kaiser said the hold time might "exceed 30 minutes", so I was pretty excited when a nurse came on the line 20 minutes later. Until she hung up on me. AGH! I had to call back. Finally, I spoke to a nurse who said I should probably stop by for a tetanus shot today, but just take care of it at home for now and advised a warm bath. At this point, it was about 12:20 and I really needed to go to the bathroom and sleep. But, a bath first, then the rest.
Here were some of the thoughts going through my head as a was lying in the bed applying pressure to the gaping hole in my leg caused by my knitting needle:
1) How come there were 2 dpns not in the project? Remember, I had one in my leg, and Andy held one up to that one. Hm. I'm not sure I want to know. Oh, the humanity! Still haven't looked to figure this one out. Obviously there are some stitches off the needles.
2) This is going to be a great story for the blog.
3) Damn, I really liked those pants. I hope they're not ruined.
4) I really need to finish that sweater.
5) I wonder if it's better or worse than the normal knitting needles I use (size 2 and below, really)?
6) I really have to check the couch before sitting down and also, not sit down so damn hard when I do it.
I'm still waiting to hear back from Kaiser about the tetanus shot, but otherwise, it's really not that bad. Oh, and I looked at it, of course, and it's not a gaping hole anymore, it just looks like a cut. Whew.
And as for the title of the post, I was pretty much laughing at the absurdity of the situation the whole time this was going on. One of my favorite Indigo Girls quotes (though I'm sure others have said it): "Sometimes you just have to laugh at yourself ... because you'd cry your eyes out if you didn't." So true, so true.
Well, I think this incident will -- in more ways than one -- take care of your flopping down onto the couch! You'll be a bit too tender for that for some time there, missy! Feel better.
Posted by: Gina at April 17, 2006 8:40 AMOh my! I'm glad that you're okay and that you weren't alone when it happened. Won't it be ironic if you end up working on your sweater in Kaiser while you're waiting for your shot?
No pictures, huh? Good thing.
Posted by: Janice at April 17, 2006 9:20 AMomg...that is SO something I would do!!! yipes. I'm such a clutz! now I'll definitely be checking underneath myself before I plop down on the couch!
I'm glad you're all right!! lol..this post made me cringe & laugh...good job! :)
.♥.
Posted by: Jenn (knittyJenn) at April 17, 2006 9:48 AMI feel your pain. I've done the same thing - only I didn't have the presence of mind to blog it. I ALWAYS check the couch now.
Posted by: Lisa at April 17, 2006 9:58 AMWhat kind of dpn- bamboo, birch, or metal? I'm guessing that sitting on metal needles would be horrible. I usually feel the poking as I sit down on bamboo ones but it has never gone through my pants.
#2 or less might have gone in a lot deeper. Mine are Inox and they slip right through my nylon cordura bags.
Sympathy for you. Hope it doesn't hurt too much.
Posted by: freecia at April 17, 2006 10:00 AMhere's a good reason to switch over to wooden needles, they would have broken and both Brittany and Lantern Moon will replace broken needles. Seriously though, I'm glad you're alright and it wasn't through an artery.
Posted by: Hollis at April 17, 2006 10:00 AMHehehe, reminds me of when my mom accidentaly put a crochet hook nearly all the way through her hand...that hurt.
Posted by: Marlene at April 17, 2006 12:18 PMDefinitely better than size 2, which would have gone in farther. I know that it's only a matter of time before I put out an eye with a knitting needle. Putting out one's eyes seems to run in my family - my grandmother's done it twice.
Posted by: Gryphon at April 17, 2006 1:18 PMHey! I was going to respond with the second half of that quote (but it's probably good that you included it, so I wouldn't have looked all insensitive by needing to be there with the semi-inside joke instead of my condolences. Which is way better than taking up an entire paragraph in a parenthetical to explain it, I guess).
Anyway, ow! And I'm sorry! And you should've called Niteline! Kidding. Actually, it's probably good that I wasn't there, because I wouldn't have let anyone remove the needle until a medical professional had confirmed it hadn't punctured an artery and the only reason you weren't bleeding out was because the needle was still in there. And it turns out that would have been unnecessary. Sorry about that. Ow. Once I speared my foot with a pencil. Ow. Okay, I can't think about it anymore. I'm glad it was only a half inch.
Posted by: Dana
at April 17, 2006 3:36 PM
Good heavens. I think your needles might be a teensy bit too sharp?
Posted by: karenology at April 17, 2006 10:36 PMYikes! I hope you are recovering quickly. Half the time the tetanus shot hurts more than the reason for the shot!!! Size 7 must make a gigantic hole, you poor thing. On the other hand, a size 2 might gone through your entire leg. Small blessing?
Posted by: Juls at April 19, 2006 8:12 AMI believe a new "bent" on knitting has been introduced, knitting and acupuncture for the not so faint hearted - needle size based on needs of patients - big ones for headaches and little ones for allergies.
Posted by: mrsekchoy at April 21, 2006 12:10 PMI seem to remember the same thing happened to my grandma when I was about ten. She was using smaller needles though, and I think she actually had to go to the Emergency!
Heal well!
Posted by: Melanie at April 22, 2006 8:25 PMI seem to remember the same thing happened to my grandma when I was about ten. She was using smaller needles though, and I think she actually had to go to the Emergency!
Heal well!
Posted by: Melanie at April 22, 2006 8:27 PMI seem to remember the same thing happened to my grandma when I was about ten. She was using smaller needles though, and I think she actually had to go to the Emergency!
Heal well!
Posted by: Melanie at April 22, 2006 8:31 PMHmmmmmmmm
I remember NO warnings on any pkg of needles I've ever purchased.... sounds like a stash enhancing fundraiser....I mean lawsuit- to me!--
hope you're better- and watch where you put your butt- next time....
2 questions... what kind of needles? And... you didn't HURT them did you????????;)
Posted by: tracey in mi at April 24, 2006 5:52 PMWow, I am sure I didn't see this post when it was first up, I would have remembered it! I blame bloglines. :)
How many stitches were off the needle??
Posted by: Abigail at May 4, 2006 11:08 PMI recently did this same thing with a size 8, but it went in 6 inches (and I was only able to remove one inch myself before being taken to the ER - add to that that I'm 27w pg and you have a "fun" situation). Sick, just sick to imagine that much force - ick!!!
Posted by: Julie at May 30, 2006 8:28 AMHi! Just wanted to let you know that this submission made it into this month's Yarnival! You can view the issue on my blog. Thanks for submitting! Have a GREAT DAY!
Posted by: Cara at November 15, 2006 8:14 AMHAhahahahahahhaahahah...thank you for sharing this!! I'm sure my day is coming.
Smiles,
Erin
Ouch, that made me wince. I hope you're recovering well. I did smile with wry recognition at you wondering whether some of the stitches were off your needles though - I bet I would have been thinking exactly the same thing.
Posted by: Kirsty at November 16, 2006 10:33 AMI think it's a rite of passage - a friend who is a fashion designer uses the X-ray from when she got a sewing machine needle through her index finger on her resume. nothing says "i'm dedicated to this craft" quite like a puncture wound.
Posted by: Meg at November 19, 2006 10:31 PM