I forgot to mention in my long ranty post below that my glove progress has been halted due to a broken needle. I believe it was stepped on while sitting neglected on the floor next to a pile of yarn in front of the stereo. This is why I'm afraid of bamboo. So delicate.
Now is the time to recall the poor needle's good deeds. With it, I knit my schmoopie a hat, myself a somewhat matching hat, the fubar cabled hat, and a pink wristwarmer (alas pairless like the current glove). It clearly went before its time. Rest well, noble needle.