Not a usual theme for this log, and prolly not a theme that will be repeated too often here: introspection. Over the years, I have the interpretation that sharing my ideas is not wanted or desired, so I tend to keep many things to myself. Several instances and somewhat conversations have brought this to mind:
Now, having been told numerous numerous times that: I am in no form, way, or fashion desireable; I have absolutely nothing to offer in a relationship; I make no effort to sustain a relationship; I am not an interesting person; "dream on"; "Why the hell would I be interested in you?"; "You are probably the most disgusting person I have ever met"; "You are kidding yourself if you beleive you'd get a date"; and various others, that I know that I shouldn't even bother trying to ask anyone out any more. Well, actually, realized that a few years ago. Not that I have ever had any success in flirting or asking anyone out - which is rather pathetic for a 30 year old, but hey, I've been living 30 years accepting that I am a pathetic person; nothing new.
So, an insight was shared that a theory is that females are interested in guys that are willing to be walked over. Perhaps, since I give the aura that I'd not allow anyone to walk over me, nor would put up with playing games in a relationship, that I am just not worth pursuing. It was also theorized that females do in fact grade you in a relationship. If you're not doing an active means of showing them that they are constanly on your mind every day, the relationship will fail. Now, since only a few people read this, and none are female, I doubt that there'll be any rebuttal (I don't care how it's spelled right now). However, there may be people who either have a successful relationship, or had a relationship.
Now, there was a time that I would put everyone's concerns and problems ahead of my own. By college, this burnt me out - and the saying 'nice guys finish last' wasn't accurate. Nice guys, in fact, do not finish at all. What made me realize I let people walk over me was around Sophomore year, when I had a vehicle again. The only time I would hear from any 'friend' was when they needed a ride somewhere. It got to the point that the phone would ring, I'd pick it up, and ask "where do you need to go?" Which would follow by a voice asking how I knew that they wanted a ride. Well, because the only time a person talks to me anymore is because they want me to take them somewhere. So, then I adopted a more 'take no shit from anyone' type attitude. Sure, I'd be more assy, but my life would become far less stressful. And, it has.
Before junior high, and parts of junior high, I was considered cute, I guess. At least that is what I was told, and there were instances where I was actively pursued. So, would this perhaps confirm that there may be at least some truth to the proposed theory?
It is true that I do not beleive in playing games in a relationship - I don't even put up with having games played, I do not allow someone else to walk over me, and I do not beleive in keeping score in a relationship. A relationship is not a means to have your existence validated. It is not to have you feeling that you are the most important person there is. At least, those are my feelings. I don't beleive that it is necessary to buy someone's love by showering them with gifts just to validate them. My belief is that a relationship consists of a couple that desires to be with one another's company, so one would enter a relationship because they wish to spend time with another person and is interested in their thoughts and feelings. Not to find out just what you can get from them or what you can get them to do for you.
So, are females really that shallow and insecure? Do they really need a constant overt reminder that they are thought of? As an example of what I mean: Say one person drives several hundres miles each day to go to work and back in order to spend time with another. This takes several hours a day, and introduces a lot of stress both physical and mental. This person is willing to go through all that without any complaint or holding it against the other, just to be with the other. One would suspect that this could be considered an overt reminder, however, the other feels slighted cause they do not get flowers or gifts. That would be considered the overt reminder. So, then, are females really that shallow?
Just wondering if there were other insights into things out there.
I still go with my theory that I, in particular, am just not interesting to others - although to what contributes to the lack of interest I do not yet know.
New pix up - roof before shingling, and after. Also of the A/C and ductwork - but I doubt there'll be much interest in those....
Click the pictures link to view
Visited the house tonight. THey've got the AC unit and ductwork done. They've started on the electrical and phone. Took some pictures - the roof is finished. Doubt anyone would be interested in the duct work, but some pix of that will be up, as well as pix of the rooms, now with windows.
Gotta get ready for Kurt - he should be here shortly...
Well, there's pretty much a roof now - as well as outside coverings. Windows too! Both baths were installed. Tomorrow they'll shingle and do the duct work - and I think the air conditioner goes in tomorrow as well. Soon will be the electrical.
Tooks pictures until the batteries wore out. Why is it that the first half of the charge lasts way longer than the second half?? If I get time tomorrow, I'll put them up - but I do have a lot to do at work, so we'll see.
The frustration of yesterday:
I was passing someone on the way home from work, and noticed something odd about the backseat passenger. When I looked, I saw a boy - maybe not more than 8 - standing on the seat, leaning over the front seat. And, I'm thinking, what kind of parent is this irresponsible? Then, I notice that the driver is paying absolutely no attention, because he's too bust talking on the phone.
Hey, dumbass, get off the phone, and get you kid in the seat belt for Christ's sake!!
Then he realized at the last minute that this was the exit he wanted - too busy on the phone, and cuts across 4 lanes of traffic - including right in front of me. Now, had I slightly less reactions, I would have gone through his back end *hint Lexus versus Grand Cherokee - Grand Cherokee wins* and his kid would be in or through the windsheild.
Now, what pisses me off is the increadible stupidity that humanity shows each and every day. Does it not occur to any person that if your kid is mis-behaving, not wearing the seat belt, clowning around, etc. to pull your ass over and take care of the problem????? Appearantly not, cause they're far far too busy to be bothered with stopping, and have to deal with it while driving. Listen people, when you're on the road, your attention goes to the road. PERIOD. If you need to discipline your kid - pull over. If you need to grab that peice of paper that fell on the floor - pull over. If you need to spend that much concentration on the phone - pull over. I'd be perfectly fine if your idiocy kills you, but most often, it doesn't. The dumbass peice of shit gets to walk away unhurt, while the others get killed or seriously wounded. Well, not this one - I'll do everything in my power in that last second to be sure you and your occupants are the ones that are killed.
"oh, but it's rush hour and I can't pull over because of the traffic density" well, tough fucking shit. Pull your ass over and wait. If it takes an hour, that's your tough shit.
I'd say some people shouldn't be having kids, or driving, but I think I'll just be more generic and say some people just shouldn't be alive - taking up my oxygen and food supply.
Thanks to some yummy cereal, and dairy bought milk, today is the first day I've been able to finish a half gallon of milk in.... well I can't remember...before it went bad.
New pictures and video in the Pictures section
Guess I'll need to make an adendum: view this at work. If you are on 128k or less, it will take a LONG time to load. 512k-1meg connections should take about 5-10 seconds to load. I did this at work, so it took about 3-4 seconds to load.
Of course, if you have a crappy-assed ISP, I can't make any determination what the load time will be.
They're framing today. During lunch, they had most of the walls up. I suspect by the end of the day, the roof will be up. I'll swing by and take some pix if the ground is dry.
Thanks to Fay, it rained all weekend. I tried taking some pix, but they're a bit dark - I might still post them. It was also quite muddy out, and after the camera hung up saving a video, I gave up on the whole prospect. It must run on Microsoft code. Anyway, I'll return to take pix and such when the ground is dryer - if it stops raining, prolly by Wed or Thurs.
Last night was very uncool. The little shit next door was screaming and crying past 1am. I became hoarse yelling at them. Also, didn't realize I could punch through drywall. Got some more patchwork to do before I leave this place. Left a nice bloodstain as well.
The people next door are either inept parents, or just don't care at all. I mean, who let's a kid scream and yell for 3 hours straight in the middle of the night??
I long for the day when I can sleep an entire night through without interruption...
Seems I only have about 1 1/2 - 2 more months of this, then I'm free.
Far far too funny:
Star Wars is better with pants
25 Lines From Star Wars That Can Be Improved if you substitute the word "Pants"
1. A tremor in the pants. The last time I felt this was in the presence of my old master.
2. You are unwise to lower your pants.
3. We've got to be able to get some reading on those pants, up or down.
4. She must have hidden the plans in her pants. Send a detachment down to retrieve them. See to it personally Commander.
5. These pants may not look like much, kid, but they've got it where it counts.
6. I find your lack of pants disturbing.
7. These pants contain the ultimate power in the Universe. I suggest we use it.
8. Han will have those pants down. We've got to give him more time!
9. General Veers, prepare your pants for a surface assault.
10. I used to bulls-eye womp-rats in my pants back home.
11. TK-421. . . Why aren't you in your pants?
12. Lock the door. And hope they don't have pants.
13. Governor Tarkin. I recognized your foul pants when I was brought on board.
14. You look strong enough to pull the pants off of a Gundark.
15. Luke. . . Help me take...these pants off.
16. Great, Chewie, great. Always thinking with your pants.
17. That blast came from those pants. That thing's operational!
18. Don't worry. Chewie and I have gotten into a lot of pants more heavily guarded than this.
19. Maybe you'd like it back in your pants, your highness.
20. Your pants betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially for your sister!
21. Jabba doesn't have time for smugglers who drop their pants at the first sign of an Imperial Cruiser.
22. Yeah, well short pants is better than no pants at all, Chewie.
23. Attention. This is Lando Calrissean. The Empire has taken control of my pants, I advise everyone to leave before more troops arrive.
24. I cannot teach him. The boy has no pants.
25. You came in those pants? You're braver than I thought.
The inspections that take place pre-pouring happen today, and they are starting to pile wood nearby. If the inspections pass, they can start pouring the foundation as early as tomorrow, but my bets are on the beginning of next week. Once that's dry, they'll take a day to frame the house, and things will start happening then.
**Just got a call from the builder. They're laying the concrete tomorrow morning, and framing Monday**
This is a time when you wish your card was stolen:
Unfamiliar With the System: Andrew Cameron was arrested in August and charged with stealing Jacqueline Boanson's debit card in Cheltenham, England. Cameron had used the card to place a horse-racing bet, and the horse won, but since he could not collect without a photo ID that matched the debit card name, the winnings (about $495) were automatically transferred to Boanson's account. [The Times (London), 8-7-02]