I am so tired.

Things I am tired of …

* watching friends endure really difficult situations
* feeling that the lives of people I love may be more complicated due to not knowing things that I can most emphatically not share
* feeling like there was a right way and a wrong way to handle a situation, and somehow (even with the best intentions) I still don’t know what the right way would have been
* being stuck in the middle
* feeling even partially culpable for someone else’s suffering
* knowing that somebody who doesn’t deserve it might be getting blamed for aforementioned suffering
* drama, drama, drama
* being ever-so-slightly-sad-for-various-reasons-so-much-of-the-time
* watching someone I love get shit on repeatedly by the same person
* still really, truly liking that person in spite of it - and feeling like a disloyal friend for not HATING the shitter on behalf of the shittee
* not knowing where I stand with people that I care about VERY much, due to all of this hooey

Dear Life of Me and Those I Love,

Please stop being such a drama queen. Please let us all return to the lives we had before, which were (at least relatively) free from tension, cruelty, and unnecessary grief. Please let our actions reflect the purity of our intentions. Please let all of us survive this weekend with as much grace and style as possible … and when the fall comes, please let all of this drama shrivel up with the leaves and blow away. We would appreciate it very much.

Sincerely,
-freesia and friends