REVENGEISIMINENT

In order to assuage the undoubtedly anxious anticipation of what exactly I’m going to say aobut him, here’s the DL on yesterday and my first auspicious run-in with Crave*.

I would tell you how I met this crazy clown, but I’m sure most of you can figure it out. (I know, I know, I’m an addict.) Turns out, in typical “Small World After All” fashion, that he’s good friends with not only MOST of the non-theatre people I know, but also our pal Little Z. So, of course, I have to pump Big Z for info about him, which he supplies in FREAKING SPADES.

Right. So I ask him if he wants to come see my show, thinking that if someone can stand sitting through this show before meeting me - and still want to hang out afterwards - they pretty much pass the test. What he isn’t expecting is that toward the end of the show, a large gay cowboy will pull him out of the audience and partially undress him for everyone’s viewing pleasure. (We only had nine people in the audience, so there was a bit of artistic anarchy.)

Afterwards, we go to the Garage for some pool, where we discover that Our Favorite Waitress (tm) went to high school with him. I actually manage to beat him a couple of times, and I teach him the wonders of Pole Position, Chasing Jennifer Around the Table, Scratch Procedures, etc. The guy at the next table walks up to me and says,

“Excuse me, but I just wanted to say that I love your stockings. Not every woman has stockings like that, and even fewer can pull it off.”

To which I’m like … hunh. What the? Then a couple of minutes later he comes over and says,

“I really like your shirt, too. Who’s on it?”

I say “Frida.” The shirt, I might add, is pretty tight. (This will be useful information in a minute.)

Him: “Frida … who?”

Me: “Frida Kahlo.”

Him: “What?”

Me: “Frida … Kahlo. The artist?”

Him: “Ooooohh.”

At this point, Crave turns to the guy and says,

“Yeah, you have to REALLY STARE AT IT to figure it out.”

This is when I have to briefly turn away so that the dude won’t be able to tell that Crave and I are both laughing at him. A few minutes later, he comes back and says,

“I just wanted you to know that I didn’t mean anything by that, and I hope you aren’t offended. Also, I really like your tongue ring. I haven’t ever dated anyone with their tongue pierced, but I hope to someday.”

This situation is made better by the fact that their group buys Crave and I two shots of Jaeger, each. Yay!

Then there was lots of label-making and horn-honking, but I think you kinda had to be there.

* Names, as always, have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent.