open letter
Dear stupid cunt who almost crashed into my car this morning,
There are several things you should know. First and foremost, never turn a corner into oncoming traffic if you have not first LOOKED to make sure that said oncoming traffic is not going to hit you. Secondly, do NOT honk angrily at them as they are driving, since you are the one who has just proved to the world that you are a fucking moron. Thirdly, do not roll down your window and scream obscenities at them, as that merely showcases your bad upbringing.
And last but not least, do not do all of the above when you are TURNING LEFT ONTO A ONE-WAY STREET GOING RIGHT, you pathetic waste of skin. When the poor woman in the Tracer tries to signal to you - ostensibly for your safety - that you are going the wrong way down a one-way street, do not respond by vehemently flipping her off. Your car may be expensive, but your gray matter obviously was not. How fucking dare you totally ruin my mood all morning, you ugly bag of mostly water? Firstly, get a life. Secondly, don’t drive a million-dollar car if you don’t have your fucking drivers’ license. Thirdly, just kill yourself now and save me the hassle. If you are in fact my neighbor and you ever pull that shit with me again, I am getting out of my car and sticking my fingers into your EYE SOCKETS until I feel better.
Best regards,
Freesia
Um, and just for the record, YOU aren’t the person who should know better…
Wonderfully succinct and descriptive. An excellent piece overall. I laughed out loud. Love you.
whoa, different side of freesia.
points, though, for the Star Trek reference.
Thank you for accepting not only my anger but also my dorky side. This is why you incur my love, and not my wrath.
welcome back angryfreesia
we missed you
we should go to taco bell someday
it’ll be fun
i’m glad you’re ok, though
hey that was ME wearing a WIG!
Taco Bell? (Is this a reference I should get, or merely a hankering for Toxic Hell?)
I fully support the “fingers in eye sockets” platform you’ve adopted as your solution to a better driving society. You have my vote…enforce away!
Mmmm…justified viciousness.
LOL, enjoyed your piece!
“The preceding message was brought to you by the Joshua Norton School of Anger Management. Joshua Norton, protecting the citizens Mexico, the United States and other parts of the North American Continent from people who really should know better - but who obviously don’t.”