for posterity’s sake

Here’s the infamous letter, edited a bit to protect the innocent.

Ahem.

****

Morningboss,

I need to talk to you about a couple of things. First of all, a brief update on the last few weeks, since we didn’t really get to chat in detail this morning. To be completely honest, I had a much harder time while you were gone than I expected. I realized that there is just no way 10-12 hours of work can fit into a four hour slot. I tried as hard as I could to get things done - I came in early sometimes, I stayed late sometimes, I worked through lunch every single day. GreatBigTopBoss refused to let me take overtime, so I was sent volunteers to help out. By the time I’d gotten them trained in for whatever they were doing (with the exception of Ida), it would almost have been quicker to do it myself - on top of which I lost control of a lot of the things that came through the office. Teachers were getting frustrated about how long it was taking to get back to them, and they were taking it out on me. Some of the less polite ones got a hold of FussyQueenReceptionist, which meant that he was sniping at me too. FiveMinuteMan was frustrated because I was no longer helping out downstairs and that was stressing HIM out. There were a lot of people who were unhappy, and I felt like I was bearing the brunt of it. There was just nothing more that I could do, with the exception of working a lot of unpaid hours, and I wasn’t willing to do that. (The fact that it’s the busiest time of the year in Afternoonboss’s office as well didn’t really help the situation.) I know this is just how it goes, and when all is said and done it was okay. You more than just about anyone deserve a nice long vacation, and because of the budget constraints I can understand why corners were cut the way they were. In any case, I just want you to know that I worked my tail off the last few weeks, and that the pile of left-over work to do is pretty miniscule compared with what MarketingDirector and BoardMember and MarketingMaven and ConcessionsPixie and BoxOfficeGirl and Ida and I tackled in your absence. My original plan was to work last weekend and try to catch up on whatever I could, but when I came in yesterday I was so burnt out that I was pretty useless, so I went back home.

In any case, I had a lot of time to think during that time. I am sorry to send you this on your first day back - but I am afraid if I wait any longer someone else will tell you, and I want it to come from me. Also, I am sending you an email because if I try to tell you in person I will probably cry, which will make me NOT very helpful to Afternoonboss for the rest of the afternoon (as we both know from the last time we had this type of conversation). I have been looking for a new job ever since the day you told me that you didn’t think I was a good person for this one. My opinions on how well suited I am to this position completely aside, I didn’t want to work in an environment where I felt like my supervisor didn’t think I was good at what I do. I know you are a softie just like me, so I’m sure you can probably understand how difficult that feeling is. Even when I was trying to prove you wrong, I always felt defeated. No matter how hard I worked or what I did, I felt like it was not enough, and I knew I didn’t want to continue that way. I am certainly not trying to lay blame - I just believe that you and I are not very well suited to working together, no matter how much I might like you as a person. We are both passionate and opinionated, but we are both also very sensitive, and I don’t think that’s a positive or productive combination for a work environment. Around this same time, Afternoonboss and I had a long conversation. She was actually the one who brought it up - she said that she knew what I was doing didn’t come easily to me. She knew I was working hard, and she respected the fact that I was going to stick out the 12-18 month commitment I’d promised ExBigBoss when I was hired. However, she could also tell that I was unhappy. She essentially gave me permission to start looking for a job that would tie in to my future career. Something I would love. So, after having both of those experiences, I started researching and applying for teaching jobs - and have been offered a couple in the last few months. For one reason or another, I turned them down - with the exception of the Summer Camps with the Drama School. I will be teaching little kids with Riotous all summer, so as of the beginning of the first/second week in June I will be resigning my position as MorningJobName and AfternoonJobName. If I should be offered a full-time (non-seasonal) position before then, that date is subject to change - and just for clarity’s sake, I have no intent to leave without adequate notice. FriendWhoUsedToHaveThisJob knows that I’ve been trying to find something else, and she has expressed interest in being MorningJobName again, if she was allowed to bring CuteBebe with her to work. I wanted you to know as soon as possible, but everything was a little discombobulated this morning and it never seemed like the “right time”. I suppose there is never really a “right time” for this sort of thing, so here it is.

Please let me know what you think - and I will talk to you tomorrow morning.

Thanks,

-Freesia

*****

To my surprise, here was her response.

*****

Freesia - First of all, I want you to know that I’m not upset with you at all about your email. I’m not even really surprised. I also want you to know that I VERY much appreciate the hard work you did while I was gone and I’m very sorry that people gave you a hard time. I’m so used to being given a hard time by so many people most of the time that it just rolls off my back anymore.

There was only one sentence in your email that did make me feel very bad. When you said that I had told you that you’re “not a good person for this job”. I remember that conversation very well and the fact that you came away from it feeling that way makes me very sad. I know that my intention in the conversation was to talk about people being better suited for different kinds of jobs - but I never intended you to feel like I don’t think you’re a good person.

We can talk more tomorrow.

Morningboss

*****

I thought that was very nice. Things have been really laid-back and friendly and normal all morning. I was so nervous … and apparently, I didn’t need to be.

On an unrelated note, I went to The Irish Emigrant last night to meet up with some college friends for PubQuiz. They, the big fat hairy wankers, did not show up. Luckily for me, Ethan and Mike - people I know through EXITheatre - were there, and they convinced me to stay and play with them. I had a GREAT time, but then of course I got home late and was exhausted, so crawling out of bed was pretty terrible this morning. I am having lunch with the inimitable AmandaLee, so that will be good too.

Yesterday was just a quittin’ sort of day for me. I also finally sent out the long-feared email to the Annex staff and officers saying that I can’t be secretary anymore. It made me really sad, because I love being a company member, and I love being an officer. It’s just pretty darn impossible to both be doing a birthday party and taking meeting minutes at the same time. It just doesn’t work like that. FatPretzel sent me a really lovely email this morning saying that they were sad but everyone understood. I kind of fell into Annex by accident, and it was the best thing that could’ve happened to me after moving here. I guess I’ll just have to settle for being a plain old company member now. Sigh.

And how are you today?

Oh, and one more thing. Would you like to see a sexy Jorgensen perform? How about a LeFebvre? I was going to go to this because I adore Ivory Smith, but once I realized people I KNOW are in it, then I really think I have to go. Click HERE to check it out, and then come along!

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