I was told last night,

I was told last night, by a very objective observer, that my recent post (which described my life as a made-for-tv-movie) sounded “healthy”, and I wanted to take just a moment to discuss that observation, and to give you the working definition of the word “healthy”, as used in this situation.

healthy:adj. Of or pertaining to health. Common uses include:

1. In denial. Colloq. usage incl. “…not just a river in Egypt.”, “She’s in total denial.”, etc.

2. Acting. See also “Alicia’s Career”, Uta Hagen’s book “Respect For”, etc.

3. Fabrication. Of or pertaining to weaving. Colloq. usage incl. “Fabricated story.” See also “web of deceit”.

4. Senseless Optimism. See also “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life”.


5. Saying what you - and everyone else - want to hear. See “fronting”.


6. Forcing myself to act okay even when I’m not. See “every day of my life”.

In short, “healthy” means that I am only okay when I am thinking of something else. When I am keeping my mind so full that it doesn’t have time to consider what’s really going on. When I’m distracted. When I’m doing every damn thing I can to keep the reality of this whole shitty situation off my mind. Is that healthy? Then yes, that’s exactly what I am. Want to know what I really think about all of this?

I can’t post that here. I’d get carted away in a straight jacket and sent to a padded room. And god knows I can’t be a productive, “healthy” member of society from there.