Good things come to those

Good things come to those who wait…

HOUSING NIGHTMARE
CHAPTER THREE

I visited the perfect house yesterday. Perfect location, perfect from the outside, perfect from the inside, perfect yard and deck and view and porch and basement and potcloset. (Former residents grew weed in the downstairs closet, and cut holes in the door to promote proper circulation.) The people living there NOW would be splitting in a couple of months, so I would get to find roommates. This morning, I called the hottie aussie chica that I visited a few weeks ago, and said “Hey, I applied to live at this house, if I get it do you want to come live with me?” (I loved her and her dog but hated her house, and apparently the chick that she had move in found out she was pregnant and moved out two weeks later. D’oh! So, now she’s thinking of giving notice ‘cause her house is EXPENSIVE.) There are only two actual bedrooms in the house proper, but there’s a second living room that could easily be a HUGE bedroom (given someone put in a DOOR) and there’s a bedroom in the basement … y’know, the one with the potcloset. So, we could be great roommates, and our dogs could fuck all day while we’re at work/class. (Jasper thought Piper was super-sexy. He was totally drooling.) Plus, Kater Patater Skater Fellater, my best girlfriend from St. Olaf, is vaguely considering moving to Seattle after she finishes doing Summerstock this summer, and I think she should come live in the potcloset.

I just like the word “potcloset”. Say it with me! Potcloset.

Apparently Marvelous Molly (she of the fat lip) has a new cat. I wonder if Creepy Uncle Chester gets to live in a potcloset.

Other new words that I love to say: Asparaguspee. This is to be said as one word, and refers to the fact that when you eat Asparagus, some chemical in it INSTANTLY digests and heads straight into your pee, making it smell Asparagusy. One of my bosses taught me that one.

Favorite weather: Thundersnow. I’d never heard of it until yesterday on the radio, and last night as I was heading to Wallingford to check this house out, there were flakes the size of chestnuts coming down, and sheet lightning. It was the most beautiful weather I had ever seen in my life, and I practically keeled over and died at the sheer joy of having snow. Standing in that perfect house, watching the snow fall outside, I felt more like I was “home” than any time since I’ve been to Seattle. I woke Bill up this morning by saying “Get up! Get up! It looks like Minnesota outside!” I miss Minnesota.

Now, it’s time for my Marie Callendar instant Chicken Broccoli Fettuccini meal. Mmmm.