I wasn't supposed to get fucking depressed today. I mean, the events of 2001.09.11 didn't really affect me that badly. It's all the things that have happened in the year AFTER that wild day that have been truly upsetting. The willing erosion of civil liberties, the enactment of a gestapo government, the list goes on. But perhaps worst of all is the media's coup in filtering and shaping information that, in the public's hands, might have resulted in real, meaningful changes for the better.
I was supposed to be shielded from it all - I avoided TV and (mainstream) news sites, like always. I couldn't quite capture why I still felt something though. The thought of raining on people's grief/reflective parade wasn't thrilling either. And I felt alone.
I went through some profound changes while watching what was happening in this country in the last third of last year. I finally opened my eyes to what the real world outside our cozy nation looks like. It was a slow, and skeptical process - but it proved ultimately rewarding (and even, oddly enough, gave me hope for the future).
A big part of growth came thanks to a great little alternative news program called Democracy Now! Until a few weeks after 9/11, I had considered myself decidedly in the minority opinion of its listener base. I didn't agree with everything I heard, but I heard the things that I couldn't hear anywhere else... the things I needed to hear. Thank you DN!
[BTW, If you feel you're not getting the full picture from "news" sources like CNN, I highly encourage you to check these guys out. It's a 1-2 hour weekday news program that gives voice to information and opinions that don't fit into the corporate and political agenda of mainstream news agencies - very much worth following. They rebroadcast in many areas, and they also have their programs in RealAudio on the web.] In particular, the first broadcast that I really needed to hear was a talk given by Johan Galtung, founder of peace studies. It was my first validation that I wasn't the only one thinking the thoughts I had.
Once again, I realize that I can't just be silent and I don't want to be alone. I have things I want to share, because I think many of us shared the same thing coming out of 9/11. Something that has not been well-served by the media. Or am I really alone in thinking this?
Posted by mlee at September 11, 2002 9:53 PMMike, you're always alone. We all just never bothered to tell you. ;) Seriously, though. . . is your blog becoming vince-like? What unfiltered information has our little mlee so hot and bothered on the political front?
Anyway, this probably doesn't surprise a lot of people who know me, but I'm sick of 9/11. The over-hyped, maudlin romanticization of everything surrounding it ruined any effect it would have had on my already (mostly) heartless soul.
Posted by: worm at September 11, 2002 10:29 PMThis is why we love you Leo =). This made me laugh heartily - thank you. No, I'm far too lazy to take vince's approach. Someday I may turn my late-2001 journey into something accessible for others, but I can't channel it into a watchdog thing.
Posted by: mlee at September 12, 2002 12:16 AMNo, you're not alone. A lot of people are sick of the way it's been handled and of the totally contradictory emotions it inspired. When it happened, I felt like I was the only person I KNEW (goddamn Seattle liberal artist friends) who actually wanted to go to war, and now I don't know what I want. It's fucking confusing is what it is, and I just don't want to think about it anymore.
Posted by: freesia at September 12, 2002 12:22 PMIt's not just one piece of information Leo. It's the systematic misshaping of it by the media that just makes it unbearable to watch/read. I mean, did you know that family members of WTC victims went on a walk from DC to NYC to speak out on behalf of other victims' families against a war campaign in Afghanistan? Or that more civilians died due to American bombing alone (not even counting starvation and dislocation of refugees) in Afghanistan than in the WTC on 9/11?
Anyway, I really mean it when I say people should listen to DN! You won't agree with everything you hear, but that doesn't matter. It's a quality program with quality and unheard guests. Listen for a week anyone, and let me know what you think.
Posted by: mlee at September 13, 2002 5:36 AMI am incredibly sick of all the 9/11 stuff out there — and arguably I am a worse perpetrator than almost anyone else!
On one hand, the constant rehash repulses me, makes me sick, makes me want to just say "enough already! let's just go on and live our lives, not dwell in the past!"
On the other hand, at least for me, there's so much extant pain and angst that 9/11 seized on and focused that now it's hard not to address the issues without using that as a focal point.
So here it is, two days later, and still I'm responding to blog posts and ruminating about what I wanted to say that I didn't get to say. Talk about hypocrisy.
Posted by: swansong at September 13, 2002 11:57 AM