OMFG look look look!

I have a new kitty! His name is Sage, and he is the little brother of my Bailey. (By little, I mean 16 pounds or so, as opposed to 21.) When Bailey and I got to our new place, he was so lonely … so I checked with the shelter, just in case, and discovered that his brother was STILL THERE. Poor Sage had been at the shelter for a year and a half, and the women who run the place were so excited for me to be taking him home that they told me I could pay the adoption fee whenever I wanted and sent me right out the door. The two of them were so excited to see each other, and were sniffing noses and rubbing faces by the end of the day. They are both total cuddlesluts, have completely different personalities, and make me ridiculously happy. Bailey let me sleep all the way through the night last night, which is a total miracle. (Seriously.) He did, of course, come snuggle first thing this morning. I have an apartment full of happy cats.

Educational tidbit of the day: Manx cats get dingleberries a lot. Who knew?

i’ve got to admit it’s getting better

So, last week we had a “talk”. Looks like we are going to go on a date tomorrow. We are taking things very slowly and trusting in the universe - if it happens, it happens. If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. In either case, I can now officially say that everything which needs to be said has been said. There is no bitterness or anger stemming from confusion or misunderstanding, and due to this I am as happy with where we stand right now as I could possibly be. Even though staying in a hotel is hard sometimes, I am feeling confident that we did the right thing - even though it was hard - in the best way we could have. I am proud of us.

going under

While stranded in the Salt Lake City airport last night (goddamn standby tickets), I had probably the worst phone conversation of my life. The Cliffs notes version is: I want one thing. He wants something else. We found that we were unwilling or unable to find a middle ground.

So, I am moving out. I want to still have him in my life, but I don’t think that’s going to be possible. We both get to be completely miserable, and we both get to have what we want right in front of us and then, suddenly, disappear. I’m starting to think that’s what relationships are all about.

I hate nothing more than that phase when you start being mean to each other, even though you love each other. You don’t mean to do it - you try very hard to stop yourself - but when your heart is broken, sometimes it can’t be helped.

ufta

Big, scary, awful, mind-shattering day. My life very nearly took a turn for the upside-down and backwards … but in the end, I am going to stay where I belong. I think my body had forgotten what it was like to really cry. (Everybody needs to do that, sometimes.)