poll, po-poll poll poll
So, I was talking to Townie last night, and he was bemoaning the fact that he didn’t win Powerball, which (after taxes) would’ve been about 65 million. We discussed how many dildos you could buy with 65 million dollars, and this got me to thinking. What the hell would I do with that much money? I’m stumped, so I’m asking you. What would you do with 65 million dollars? Would that include any dildos?
1. $20 million invested for long-term financial
well-being.
2. $10 million into an endowment fund for
grants to non-profits & individual artists.
3. $5 million split amongst jackal-like relatives
4. $5 million to purchase a building for
conversion into a theatre, restaurant, book-
store & artists’ housing.
5. $25 million to keep me in in a comfortable
lifestyle for the next 20 years or so. All
the usuals: nice condo, country home,
bigger boat, fancy car and of course, two
chicks at the same time…
um……never work again.
ever.
and I’d prolly try to do something about the sorry state of St Olaf’s performance venues….both concert and theatre. After I make them change the alcohol policy, of course.
I’d hire a coupla guys to follow me around and beat up anyone I didn’t like.
Dildos… for all my friends! In fact, I would throw a dildo party, featuring lots of alcohol and the Grabbag O’ Dildos. Because, why not?
And then do all the useful things like setting up funds and paying off family members/debts and taking my dildo-enriched friends on vacations to exotic foreign lands, but first, the party.
I’d be sure to at least buy a couple odd dildos to make sure to send to long-lost friends who pop up on my blog.
Also, let’s see… Keep 15mil for me, leaves me 40 mil. 10mil goes to a “Wheel of Charity” lottery, where all the causes I sorta kinda give a crap about each get a spin and get money till I’ve run out of the 10mil.
30mil left. 10mil to my alma mater to build a real damn theater. No, 15mil. Let’s see if they’ll actually institutionalize a real theater major if I endow a prof chair.
15mil to burn? Kay. 5 mil to my high school. They won’t even notice.
10 mil left. Okay, pocket another 5 mil, and litter the remaining 5 mil around the theater companies in Boston I like.
Now, my 15 mil? Toys like cars for me and family. A new house with a kickass woodshop and central air and a nice bar. An apartment in Paris. Probably lots of plane tickets, so I could travel and friends could come see fancy-schmancy me. And some other gifts. Though not too heavy on the dildos. Sorry, Townie.
Oh yeah. And I’d apparently consider putting some of it towards the accountant to find the other 5 mil. Oh wait. It’s in my pocket.
“I’ll tell you what I’d do with [65] million dollars…
…two chicks at the same time.”