It’s Not The Herb But The Spice With The Flavor To Spare

Dear Leslie,

I hope the monsters haven’t gotten you. You haven’t written in awhile and I’m starting to get worried that you are trapped in your hair somewhere and can’t get to a pen. I’ve been taking notes, though, and I’ve learned a few things myself. (Sometimes Jinx, Ida Sly, and Hot Mol help.)

1. Coconut popsicles are for dipping. In scotch.
2. Shared history isn’t always enough. People change.
3. When four hot girls are sewing and ironing in front of open windows in their underwear, they are probably going to acquire an audience.
4. Looking for local cake? Might I suggest you go back to college!
5. Mowing a lawn is almost as fun as smoking and watching.
6. Beauty is terror.
7. Lower your expectations, and you won’t be disappointed. Seriously. Fuck this meet-me-in-the-middle crap and just give up the ghost already.
8. Flattery will get you everywhere.
9. Half a brownie is enough.
10. Sometimes you just have to buy the slinky little black dress, whether you have a reason to wear it or not.

I hope your weekend was as good as mine.
-Inez