trying to use my inside voice
Okay. I am going to bust out in an uncharacteristic way here for just a moment. Please forgive/ignore as you see fit.
I am really fucking sick of having people I care about tell me how I should be feeling about politics. Don’t get me wrong - most of them do it unintentionally. Some of their intentions are good. Some people forward me long-winded, heavy-handed, unfuckingbearably self-righteous email diatribes that essentially say “Look at me. I’m a better person than you are because I believe what’s going on in the world is wrong. If you want to be a good person like me, you’ll forward this to everyone you know. Feel free to feel guilty. Feel free to feel inferior. Maybe if you forward this to enough people, some of these guilt feelings will go away.”
I don’t want to marshmallow anyone’s hash brownies, but here’s how I feel about the current political situation - are you ready? are you listening? you might not like me anymore! - I don’t give a shit. Did you hear me, everyone? I do NOT GIVE A SHIT. No forward you send me is going to change that. No scathing glance when I don’t immediately agree with your particular brand of soap box is going to help that. I am simply very, very tired of people getting all self-important just because they have more deeply-held or adamantly-stated political views than I do. I am incredibly jaded about our current president. I am incredibly jaded about our current leaders. I am incredibly jaded about our current economy, our current military occupation, our current set of laws and rules and regulations and that whole (let me quote S. McC here for a moment) “baileywick”. I think Dubya is a fucko, and I am sad that people have to die.
BUT.
Maybe something should be done. Maybe we do need to go to war. Maybe some element of the fuckuppage that is currently going on in Washington is necessary. Maybe their actions aren’t all completely justified or correct - but maybe some of their motives are. I’m not advocating an all-out bloodbath, and I’m not saying I agree with the scale or the aim of what’s happening. But a part of me certainly appreciates the sentiment behind it, and I’m fucking tired of people I love making me feel like I’m a lesser person because I don’t agree. I think we live in a city where it’s very trendy to be a liberal, and it’s very chic to have a radical opinion, and you become exponentially cooler as your voice on this issue gets louder. Because of this - and I know it’s often wrong - some of the anti-war noise I hear is starting to sound hollow. For the most part, god knows that my beliefs and my morals are pretty damn liberal. But … honestly, answer me one question. Isn’t there ANY part of you guys that feels like maybe it would be good to go over there and take out some of the troublemakers so this won’t happen again? Isn’t there a single bone in your body that doesn’t want people to pay for what’s happened? I think a lot of people sublimate that desire because it doesn’t fit in with the socially acceptable politically correct worldview du jour, and that frustrates me. I want it to be okay that I feel this way. I don’t want to be regarded as a lesser person because I don’t have any desire to attend peace rallies and because I like driving my car to work every day. I want the way I live and the way I see the world to be just as fucking acceptable as those of the lady who was hanging the huge muslin anti-war banner over the Aurora overpass last week. I want to be seen as someone whose intellectual autonomy is respected, not as someone who needs to be converted. I want to be a person. I do not want to be someone’s project. I think I deserve that.
Okay. Enough of the uncharacteristic anger and back to being the normal Alicia who really doesn’t want to piss everyone off. Listen. I am not yelling at anyone in particular. I’ve just been getting this from all (and I mean all) sides in tiny doses for so long that I was starting to feel claustrophobic and I had to get it off my chest before something burst inside my head. If I used an example that extends to something you’ve said or done, it’s really nothing personal. Honestly. I want everyone to keep doing what they feel like they need to do … I want you to keep blogging about politics, because you’re incredibly articulate and your spin on things is unique and your views are valid. I want you to keep posting newspaper articles that touch you and to keep posting contact information for our representatives, because what’s happening in history right now is important and your views are valid. I want you to keep writing letters that say “Hello, I oppose. Please think of me when you vote.” because those people need to know how you feel and your views are valid. I don’t intend to direct this fire at you all - you are the people I love. You are the reason that I want our country to be safe. You are the reason I give a shit about anything at all. I just want to wake up one day (here in this city of egg-shell inducing political correctness) and feel like my views are valid too.
{Editor’s note: I’ll probably think better of this and tame it down or delete it at some point. I am not good at being coherent about nebulous concepts which are pissing me off. What I am good at, though, is holding back how I feel about something for so long that it bursts out in an illogical manner. Behold.}
Your views are valid.
I will say one thing though. This war on Iraq has nothing to do with 9/11 or terrorism, as much as the government or media may try to suggest (i.e. bash it into our heads) that it is.
sugarshorts.
I love for you to holler whatever you like whenever you see fit. That’s the best part. I can go to dinner with J, and he can start to say ‘but then the US gave everybody hemophelia in the nineteen eighties…’ and I can interject with ‘AAaaaaauuuuuggghhhh! No panic attack making during mealtimes! Restrict conversation to juicy gossip!’ Or Molly and SMcC and J can talk about trade policy while I quietly sing ‘Hooked On A Feelin’ to myself and staple up the hem of my skirt until somebody starts doing impressions of Bret.
It may be hip to be liberal, but it’s uber hip to do and think exactly as you like.
donkey donkey have nice teeth. :)
Impressions of Bret!
Starring Hugh Jackman as Bret Fetzer and John Malkovich as his best friend - Bret Fetzer.
Premiering at the Mark Taper Forum February 30th!
I think you said it quite nicely, Alicia. There’s nothing like the stench of a overbearing pompous conservative, but I also hate the holier-than-thou condemnation of a strong liberal.
I think the term “liberal” is mis-used. Liberal, according to the dictionary, means open-minded. I’m a liberal. I listen to Rush Limbaugh and Dr. Laura, and almost call in to scream at them on a daily basis. But at least I listen. Most of the democrats I know are conservative stuck-in-their-ways democrats. They’re not interested in hearing what anyone else has to say. There’s a big difference, in my opinion.
rant on, rantygrrl, preach it like gospel, sing it from the mountaintops. if that’s what you feel then that’s who you are, and bugs to anyone who likes you less for it.
and be glad that here in amerika you CAN rant, and everyone can rant, and not fear the loss of tongue or children or spouse.
for the moment, at least.
Mike - just for the record, I wasn’t talking specifically about Iraq. I was using a wide-range lens in my ranty-scope.
Donkey donkey have nice teeth!
Those jams always up to no good.
In my family we argue about politics around the dinner table and it’s not considered antisocial.
I talk to my friends (and my family) about the things I care about because none of the people on the TV or on the radio or in the papers are saying things that make any sense to me and I want to know if anyone else notices this too. Is it just me? Am I going crazy? Did he really just say what I think he said? Etc.
For me to want to talk about this kind of stuff with anybody should be taken as a sign of my respect, because I wouldn’t bother to bring it up with somebody I considered to have a closed mind.
The party line is already being adequately expressed through a million channels of media 24 hours a day 7 days a week. It is only natural to expect those who hold differing views to be a little frantic about getting their voices heard. We want to know we’re not alone.
If the clamor of people expressing these contrarian views is bumming you out, I apologize. To me it’s actually a huge comfort to hear all the heated political debate flying around. It’s like sitting down at the dinner table back home!
Mr. Banjo,
First of all, very eloquently put. I don’t disagree with any of what you said. (Also, you’re pretty.)
No, that’s not what was bumming me out. It was just the underlying assumption (possibly/probably imagined on my part) that not agreeing made me a bad person - that caused the bumming. I am glad that people talk to me about this kind of thing - shit, I’m glad you people talk to me about anything. The only problem is, I don’t like arguing. I never have. As such, I tend to acquiesce rather than risk confrontation - and after doing that a certain number of times, I start to feel like I’m suffocating. It’s not easy to say “I don’t agree with you, but I don’t want to talk about it” … you know what I mean?
In any case, this whole diatribe was more a result of me not being generally able to stick up for my own views than anything else. Not fond of arguing. (A trait of mine that occasionally really pissed a certain ex-boyfriend off. You argumentative boys.)
Arguing sucks and it should go to hell, no passing go, no collecting its measly little $200.
Personally I’ve discovered the perfect method (for me) of dealing with political conversations.
a) steel myself up and read just enough about the current political situation to have a single opinion which I can back up with a few tidbits of fact. This way I can sound all intelligent without having to reveal that it’s in fact my one precious piece of knowledge.
Example: “George W. Bush is an idiot. I just read in Newsweek that we’re attacking Iraq for its supposed nuclear weapons, but we’re not attacking North Korea for its actual nuclear weapons. What up?”
b) Invariably this will be met with either a “Sarah, you are brilliant, that’s exactly right and furthermore blahblahblahblah blahblahblah” or a “Sarah, you couldn’t be more wrong if you tried because in actuality blah blahblahblah blahblah”. I nod and smile appreciatively at their insight.
c) After nodding and smiling enough times, they run out of things to say about their opinion. Then I can simply say “Well, you’ve definitely given me something to think about” and walk away. They’re convinced they’ve miraculously changed my mind for the better, I’ve been secretly going over my grocery list while nodding and smiling, and the whole world, for just that moment, really IS a better place.
;)
Love ya babe. Alternately I recommend kicking people in the shins.
Sarah, you’re awesome. And, for the record, I would never kick your shins (unless, of course, you asked nicely.)
The war against terror won’t end until the American flag flies over Mecca. I’m pro-abortion, not pro-choice. If you don’t agree, you’re inferior and may be eaten by wild dogs.
I like it. You’ve expressed what I often feel like saying but five seconds after I feel it the feeling has passed. Also I’m lazy. But not lazy enough to type this. OK, maybe it’s time to stop. My fingers are getting tired.