truth or dare, question #3
This question comes to us courtesy of Vince…
Here are all my YES answers to the Michael S. Lee Purity Test. {Editor’s note - for those of you who didn’t actually go to our high school, questions refer to the campus of the Illinois Math and Science Academy.} I don’t know how interesting this will be for anyone, but a promise is a promise. ;)
I HAVE…
1. Managed to piss off at least one teacher every semester due to frustration
2. Done this Inadvertently
3. Done a math exam on half a sheet of paper in black ink
4. Had a mattress thrown on you
5. Pulled an all-nighter for the hell of it
6. Pulled an all-nighter for work and got none of it done
7. Pulled multiple all-nighters in a row
8. Held picnics in the middle of the hall
9. Blasted Stairway to Heaven across campus as a security guard walks under your window
{Disclaimer: I am taking some liberty here, as it was not actually Stairway to Heaven. However, we had the screen off our window, and my roommate had just been smoking pot in the bathroom, and the security guard (who, I suspect, had a crush on said roommate) came and hung his entire upper body through our window for a few minutes to talk, and then left.}
10. Run after a car on the back road in the middle of the night, barking at it
11. Played a card game all night
12. Had an entire coherent phone conversation in a sleepy stupor and had absolutely no recollection of it the next day
13. Lost your socks while visiting a friend’s house
14. Said “Crapitude!”
This is the strictly literal version of my answers - if liberties can be taken with the questions, my score was (last I checked) somewhere in the region of 38.
No way. You’re the Anti-Lame. You just need your own personal purity test to highlight all the wacky ernie hijinks.
i don’t think that ernie hijinks fit into purity test form
oh, I think they could…
no, i really don’t think they could
i mean
“have you ever created a party based around communism and the cold war?”
i mean, seriously, yo
that’s not easy to fit in a purity test
If by “created” you mean “thrown”, then yes, I have.
hm. I think “created” is actually better. It gets thrown every year, and has a very specific set of rules and drinks, etc.
Ah, that beat me then.
Is it thrown in October? October 26th?
We may not have had quantity, but I think we had quality. 500 people, live bands, a cash bar, and complete with DJs in the “Red Room”, our basement that we painted red with a big yellow stripe and star, russian/soviet flags, posters of lenin, red lights, mirror ball, etc.
Ironically though, while it was called “Communist Party”, it really was a celebration of capitalism - I think we made something $1500 at that one.
OK, I’ve heard of the Mike Lee purity test, but never seen it… anyone want to send me a copy?
the carleton communist party was the weekend before may day
it was designed as a cocktail party
on a campus of 1800
it was an invite-only affair
and i broke even+ every year i did it
i don’t know how they did financially after i stepped down as “head of the party”
(i had a cold)
we’d get 100ish people there
there were two rooms
the bourgeois room
couches, lamps
paintings, photos of our comrades in exile
the proletariat room
dark, with throbbing dance music
one year, we blew up a photo of the dean of students to 4’x3’ and put it up on one wall
oh
and don’t forget the bartender
one year
i hired a friend of mine
a 20something year old vietnamese guy
yeah…he took it a bit over the top, if you will
we had big menu boards over the bar
and only i, as the party chairman, knew which drinks we had the ingredients for, and which ones we didn’t
if someone ordered a drink that we didn’t have the ingredients for
the bartender was ordered to tell them
“sorry comrade, shortage.”
and then hand them a glass of a drink i dubbed
“the opiate of the masses”
also
we didn’t have enough of everything to last throughout the night
so as we’d run out of drinks
we’d serve more opiate
and at some point
we’d run out of opiate
and there was still a party goin’ on
so the bartender had to improvise with what was left
one year
he was offering 4 different drinks
made with 151 and ummmm, nothing else, really
maybe water
yeah
the party was great
my yes answers
1.Done a math exam on half a sheet of paper in black ink?
2. Ever, while trying to avoid an RC, gone the wrong way on the stairs?
3. Ever climbed through the ceilings?
(ok, so by senior year i weighed over 300lbs and therefore would be unable to get up in the ceilings. but i did help my roommate and friends get up there, and did the whole lookout deal, so i was up there in spirit)
4. Personally met every security guard on campus?
5. Tied people in their rooms by tying their door handles together? (i.e. rooms that have a room across the hall?)
6. Tried to prove someone wrong as a result of a dare?
7. Had an entire coherent phone conversation in a sleepy stupor and have absolutely no recollection of it the next day?
wow
i’m hellalame