smoke and ashes Well,

smoke and ashes

Well, I had already typed this whole thing and our DSL went down and I lost it. d’oh. So, here it is again…

Hooray, VELVET RUT!

We just had the smoothest first-full-tech-run ever last night. The people in this show are too brilliant (and patient) for words. I know I’ve been really snippy for the past couple of weeks - I felt like I was letting people down, which always sends me into a state of minor panic - but last night was so refreshing and comforting and all-around good. At the beginning of this whole escapade, Sonya told me that by the end, I would love being in charge, and I guess it’s kind of telling that I don’t. The organization part is fine, it’s just the being assertive part that’s really, really hard for me. For some reason, I just don’t feel like I should have any jurisdiction outside of my own bubble. So, since it’s still hard, I’m going to try to keep doing it, as part of my “Personal Improvement Plan”. ( I will be posting updates to my PIP as I come up with them.) Apparently Bill knows someone who’s sort of trolling for future Stage Managers, and I’m going to call her. I think I could be good at it - but it’s going to take a bit of ego-revision. My own personal, self-imposed trial by fire.

On a slightly less masochistic (but equally insane) note, I’ve got an audition coming up this Sunday. I really miss acting. It’s what I’m most comfortable doing - it’s the most fulfilling thing I can do with my time, and I’m desperate to get back into it. If I was cast in this show, rehearsals would start right in the middle of the Velvet Rut run, and the show would go up two weeks after VR closes. It sounds nuts, but I REALLY think I could do it. Plus, it’s one of my favorite scripts - my very first audition monologue ever came from Little Murders. Maybe it’s time to come full circle.

On an acting note, Congratulations, Pamala! The fabulous Ms. Molly Mijatov just was cast in a show at Golden Fish. You go, girl.