Jersey Shore Chronicles, Day

Jersey Shore Chronicles, Day 3 - Monday

This is my day for learning about the wonders and dangers of the Atlantic Ocean. I didn’t even go IN on Sunday, for which I was heartily scolded by just about everyone. OH - here is the head count so far.

Chip and Ellen Murray - Bill’s folks. They are AWESOME.
Patrick Murray - 17 ( I think?) He’s the “perfect child”… great grades, does school newspaper, runs track. VERY tall and gangly and buff. Probably the most self-conscious Murray child despite his jock status.
(Chris)Topher Murray - 14. The youngest and most… uh… energetic. Since the first time I met Topher (4th of July 1999) he has gotten IMMEASURABLY calmer. Topher loves me because I’m nicer to him than his brothers are.

Steve and Harriet Yake - Bill’s folks’ friends.
Matt Yake - 19. Going to Pratt in NYC for… something. I never quite caught it.
Davis Yake - 13. Seems like a spurned middle child, but surprisingly…. has no little siblings. It’s a mystery.
Alex ??? - Matt’s friend. Total stereotypical East-Coast surfer dude. Very cool.

Eileen and Brian Byrne - more of Bill’s folks’ friends.
Molly Byrne - 17. The musical theatre queen of New Jersey - is going into tech week for Carousel. Apparently all of the non-Bill boys spend the entire weekend trying to figure out how to hook up with her.
Nora Byrne - 11. TOTAL spurned middle child.
Johnny Byrne - aka “Johnny B” - 9 (but his mother says he’s really 7. He acts young.) Chubby and earnest.

SO, on Monday Bill and Topher try to teach me how to handle the ocean… jumping, diving through the BOTTOM of waves, not stepping on crabs, etc. Bill has been threatening to teach me to bodysurf, but before he gets the chance, Patrick grinds his face into the ocean floor doing it. He tears most of the skin off his nose and bleeds everywhere. It’s VERY gross.

I spend a lot of time swimming with Johnny B. At one point, we’re out in the water, and Bill/Patrick/Topher are screwing around in the water. Johnny makes a tsk-ing nose at them, and I say “Oh, those Murrays. They’re crazy.” Johnny gives me a very wise, pointed look, and says “Well, when you and Bill get married, you’ll be one of them.” I stare at this chubby little cherub with my mouth hanging open, and finally say “you mean, I’ll be a Murray?” and Johnny says “No, you’ll be crazy.” I turn away just in time to hide the fact that I am busting a gut and have tears running down my face. Don’t kids just say the darndest things?

Later, Johnny is swimming with Bill. He turns to Bill and says “Are you and Alicia engaged?” Bill pauses, re-collects, and says “Um, no…” at which point Johnny makes an “oh, no!” face and SMACKS himself in the forehead.

Monday is also Davis’ 14th birthday! So, we have cake for Davis and Bill and play full-contact Balderdash, which apparently means everyone is screaming at each other the entire time. The word “poop” somehow manages to figure prominently in several definitions. I fall asleep on the hammock thinking about how tense I am all the time - and how UNtense I’m feeling at the moment. I realize I haven’t been this un-stressed since grade school. I find that idea to be pretty exciting.